Thursday, September 18, 2008

Baked Alaska

Sarah Palin is quickly discovering the downside of American celebrity. To wit: The National Enquirer gets all up in your personal shit.

The Enquirer is reporting that Palin’s oldest son, Track, was addicted to OxyContin “for nearly the past two years, snorting it, eating it, smoking it and even injecting it.”

An unnamed “source” says: “I’ve seen him snort cocaine, snort and smoke OxyContin, drink booze and smoke weed.”

The Enquirer also claims that 17-year-old Bristol Palin is “as much of a hard partier as Track was.”

According to an unnamed “family friend”: “Bristol was a huge stoner and drinker. I’ve seen her smoke pot and get drunk and make out with so many guys.”

Welcome to the Thunderdome, Gov. Palin!

UPDATE (09/18/08): Sarah Palin to Sean Hannity tonight: “The Army is lucky to have my son.”

An anonymous source to the National Enquirer: “[Track Palin] did what a lot of troubled kids here do. You join the military.”

Womp womp.


maria said...

heh heh...more like half-baked!

Anonymous said...

"Pot had helped, and booze; maybe a little blow when you could afford it," - Senator Barack Obama, in his memoir, regarding his drug use as a teen.

Now, I keep forgetting, which of these two are running for President: Track Palin or Barack Obama?

From an experience standpoint (both drug related and politically), they actually have a lot in common.

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Who'd have guessed the day would come and the Nat. Enquirer could be more dependable with the truth than the msn? *shakes head*

maria said...

oh, yeah. drug use among minors (not to mention premarital sex and pregnancy) when the mom is a gov and later running for vp...and youthful indiscretions we've all indulged in.

yeah, they're the same thing.

how many guesses about whether bristol was using/drinking while pregnant?

btw, national enquirer actually has real journalists working there.

Undercover Black Man said...

btw, national enquirer actually has real journalists working there.

I actually worked on my college newspaper with the guy who's now the Enquirer's top editor... David Perel.

Odd connection there.

Lola Gets said...

I hate to admit this, but I was listening to the Michael Baisden show the other day, and apparently theres a rumor going around that the real father of Bristol's baby is a Black dude. Anyone else hear of that one??


Undercover Black Man said...

^ Damn, Lola, somebody's spreading that one on the radio?

It's a weak-ass YouTube hoax that I blogged about the other day. said...

Hey there!!

I am not sure that a bunch of teenagers talking to the National Enquirer can be considered "REAL" journalism...but the children are as dysfunctional as we all expected... anything ELSE new??

{shaking my head}

quirkychick said...

It's not new.

But she would have this country adhere to her own "values" when it comes to raising children, e.g. let's keep them ignorant about birth control and sex education, not to mention practicing censorship.

The Enquirer is slimy journalism for sure, but sadly a lot of what they print ends up being true.

So if her children really are using and abusing it would be best if she walked the talk and put her family first.

I think accepting the nomination was a bad call on her part - it doesn't strike me as the move of a woman who has the best interests of her children in mind.

Especially since she knew her 17 year old daughter was pregnant. It's bad enough that she has to become a mother, but it's going to be all over the media.

I bet she fucking hates her mother.

fishesalot said...

I heard that Track was charged with vandalizing school buses and given the choice of jail or the military. If that's true, then I guess he decided to gamble on getting popped by a bullet instead of an inmate.


Undercover Black Man said...

I heard that Track was charged with vandalizing school buses and given the choice of jail or the military.

Holy crap! Now if that's true, the mainstream media better report it. Particularly after seeing Palin's "interview" with the ridiculous Sean Hannity tonight... talking about how Track's military service was all about duty, service and national pride.

For fuck's sake, people... we all gotta call a halt to the bullshit. I have never seen such bare-assed bamboozlery as since Cinderella Palin joined the GOP ticket.

Mes Deux Cents said...

I swear, if "Palin/ McCain" win the White House it's going to be the Beverly Hillbillies at the Vice Presidential residence.

I missed your blog!

Undercover Black Man said...

^ Hey, MDC! Great to hear from you.

Geneva Girl said...

I watched about two minutes of that idiot who claimed he was Bristol's real baby daddy. A serious young man would consult a lawyer to get visitation not go on YouTube.

I do feel sorry for the Palin kids. They have uninvolved parents and now all their business is in the streets - whether it's true or not. I'm surprised that the grandparents haven't stepped in. The Obamas are very lucky to have Michelle's mom to give the kids a sense of normalcy.

fishesalot said...


Palindon is wack! She's a nut that can't even manage her own family, let alone the US of A. Sad thing is seeing all these vicious, hateful ass people that identify with her bullshite. I guess certain folks have come a long way while some will never, fucking ever change. But you know, ...they are as they should be. SNAP-IZZLE!


Undercover Black Man said...


As in "Have Gun, Will Travel"?

fishesalot said...

Sarah Palindon, Has Guns Will Travel. All she needs now is a horse and a black hat.