Goofing on Sarah (R-rated)

Oh Gov. Palin. How can we miss you if you won’t go away?

Sarah Palin was on “The Today Show” this morning. She was on Greta Van Susteren’s Fox News show the past two nights. And she’ll be on “Larry King Live” tomorrow. The woman’s making moves, y’all.

But does Palin have a future in national politics? I seriously wonder. Because YouTubers are steady making fun of her. (Yeah, still.) And grassroots ridicule is a hard thing to overcome.

So... since the real Sarah Palin keeps calling attention to herself, here are some video spoofs of the smutty kind:

If Mos Def were president

From 247 Townhall:

What could possibly be more cute than...

... this little girl? And guess what? Her name is Sasha... just like the president-elect’s daughter! (From the Los Angeles Times.)

‘Viva Obama’

Cartoonist Lalo Alcaraz – creator of the very clever “La Cucaracha” comic strip – has some items for sale.

I turn the microphone over to him:

LALO ALCARAZ: Hi, pardon the ad, but people are asking about my Viva Obama items and how to get ’em.

Here it is:

Either paypal me $25 for first shirt, + $20 for each addl shirt (not to mention $15 sweet 12x18 posters of both Viva Obama and Obama Washington... (i have large 23x29 silkscreen Viva posters at $25, $5 magnets) at laloalcaraz@yahoo.com

Or mail chex/mo's/stealth cash/ to:
Lalo Alcaraz Roachbomb Studios
6745 S. Washington Ave.
#156
Whittier, CA 90601

and don't forget to specify sizes! I will try to get ladies Xtra Smalls, but right now i gots the ladies Smalls, M, L, XL, and men's S, M, L, XL, add $5 for big boy XX.

I will throw in some campaign buttons if i got em! Gracias!

and Viva Obama!

Don’t get greedy, dammit!

Archbishop Wilton D. Gregory of Atlanta couldn’t leave well enough alone. Check out this report from today’s Times of London:

“The election of Barack Obama as the first African-American US President could pave the way for the election of the first black Pope, according to a leading black American Catholic.

“Wilton Daniel Gregory, 60, the Archbishop of Atlanta, said that in the past Pope Benedict XVI had himself suggested that the election of a black pontiff would ‘send a splendid signal to the world’ about the universal Church. ...

“Archbishop Gregory said that the next time cardinals gathered to elect a Pope they could ‘in their wisdom’ choose an African pontiff. ‘My own election as head of the US Bishops Conference was an important signal. In 2001 the American bishops elected someone they respected regardless of his race, and the same thing could happen with the election of a Pope.’ ...”

Palin ‘didn’t understand that Africa is a continent’

Now it all comes out. Fox News reporter Carl Cameron just unburdened himself of some behind-the-scenes campaign dish. (It was “off the record” till after Election Day.)

Cameron was told by Team McCain insiders that Gov. Sarah Palin “didn’t understand that Africa [is] a continent” with many nations, not a country unto itself. (Fox News anchor Shep Smith couldn’t believe it!)

Oh yes yes yes! Tell us more, tell us more!

Palin, according to Cameron’s sources, was also “hard to control emotionally.” She would throw temper tantrums after reading negative stuff in the press.

Wow. And some Republicans think Sarah Palin is the Great White Hope for 2012?

The video is below.

UPDATE (11/05/08): Carl Cameron also appeared on “The O’Reilly Factor” tonight, and he fleshed out his earlier report of Sarah Palin’s ignorance about Africa.

Palin had asked campaign staff members “if South Africa wasn’t just part of the country” of Africa, “as opposed to [being] a country in the continent.”

Absolutely amazing.

The world watched.

Election night open thread

Polls are about to close in the first batch of Eastern states.

This is the comment thread to discuss whatever you wanna discuss throughout the evening.

5:32 p.m. (Pacific Time): Holy shit! Fox News just projected Barack Obama the winner in Pennsylvania!

That is huge, people. For the past week, Karl Rove has been saying it’s impossible for McCain to win this election if he loses Pennsylvania. ...

6:04 p.m.: MSNBC says that Arizona — John McCain’s home state — is too close to call! Wow. ...

6:20 p.m.: Are you ready for this? Fox News just called Ohio for Obama! This race is over. ...

8:01 p.m.: CNN has just projected Barack Obama the 44th president of the United States!

Not a happy day for everybody.

Before I went and voted, I had breakfast at a neighborhood spot. As I sat down, two elderly white ladies were talking about the election. I couldn’t tell what they were saying exactly.

But later, when one of these women departed, she said to the other: “Keep your chin up, whatever happens.” And then: “They’re comin’ to get us.” She said it like a sad joke.

Evidently, not everyone is looking forward to the final results.

The break

Part of the reason I was stressing out is... like a pain addict, I’ve been exposing myself to the right-wing propaganda of Fox News.

As late as last night, the whoremonger Dick Morris insisted that polls predicting an Obama blowout can’t be trusted... except when they indicate a late surge toward McCain.

I halfway believed that crap.

The mantra of the Obama-haters has been: “The Investor’s Business Daily/TIPP poll was the most accurate of all polls in 2004.” And two days ago the IBD/TIPP poll showed Obama ahead nationally by only two points. That’s within the margin of error!

Late deciders are breaking towards McCain! The TIPP poll is the most accurate poll, and it says that this thing could go either way!

Okay, fuckers. Now that you ruined my sleep pattern, why don’t we look at today’s numbers? In particular, let’s look at the final IDB/TIPP poll before Election Day.

Tell us, TIPP... is the race even tighter? Like, neck-and-neck? Maybe McCain has moved ahead by a point or two?

Ummm... no.

The final TIPP poll shows Obama leading McCain by eight points.

Two-point lead on Sunday; eight-point lead today. (Need I remind you... the TIPP poll was the most accurate of all polls in 2004.) Looks like the late deciders have broken towards Obama.

And I am breaking towards the liquor store to buy some Veuve Clicquot.

Tonight, while Obama supporters drink champagne, Dick Morris will probably be sucking on a prostitute’s toes.

If only I could sweeten my bubbly with Sean Hannity’s tears.

Chris Rock’s message to Virginia

David Byrne says: ‘Vote.’

I just received a mass email from David Byrne, one of my favorite recording artists. I didn’t realize that Byrne isn’t a U.S. citizen. (He was born in Scotland and spent his early childhood in Canada.)

Here’s what Mr. Byrne had to say:

Pardon the bulk mailing. I Can’t Vote. I am an immigrant with a Green Card and, therefore, I am not eligible to vote in a federal election. ... On Election Day, I see my neighbors heading to the nearby elementary school to cast their ballots. The voting booth joint is a great leveler; the whole neighborhood – rich, poor, old, young, decrepit and spunky – they all turn out in one day.

But most of you can vote. What can I say? The Republicans have made us less safe than before 9/11, bankrupted this economy, started an illegal war they can’t – and don’t intend to – finish, removed what sympathy (after 9/11) and respect the world had for the US, and have robbed US citizens of many of their basic rights.

Global warming? What’s that? Science and education? Investment in our future? No, thanks – we’ll stick with a good ’ole hockey mom. Ignorant, and fucking proud of it, as is always the case.

Although it looks like a shoo-in, it ain’t over ’til Florida. And there are plenty of racists in this country who will vote against their own best interests. So please, get to your local elementary school, post office, town hall, or whatever, and cast your vote and make this a country we can all be proud of. We can get out of this mess, and life can be better than it is.

David Byrne
NYC

Third-party groovin’

If Barack Obama ain’t “socialist” enough for you... here are Internet ads from independent presidential candidate Ralph Nader and Green Party nominee Cynthia McKinney:

One more day!

A young buddy of mine named Hamani got up early on Saturday to vote. I didn’t even know California had early voting. In L.A. County, there’s only one place you can do it: Norwalk.

I don’t even know where Norwalk is.

Anyway, Hamani said it was like a concert out there Saturday morning. “I’ve never seen so many black people up at the crack of dawn in my life,” he joked.

Guess who he ran into, also waiting to vote? Filmmaker Charles Stone III. They chatted, and Stone posed for the picture above. Very cool.

Charles Stone, as you probably know, resurrected his famous “Whassup?” advertising campaign for a pro-Obama viral video. And viral it is, with 3.8 million YouTube views in 10 days.

If you haven’t seen it yet, here it goes:

Dueling poets on Barack Obama

From the left, Glenis Redmond. From the right, “African Queen.”

Two days...

Something surprising and ironic has happened as this presidential race hit the homestretch: Foreign media provided two big embarrassments for the Obama and McCain campaigns.

First, a British newspaper – the Times – revealed that Barack Obama’s aunt from Kenya, Zeituni Onyango, is living in a Boston housing project. According to the Associated Press, she is an illegal immigrant.

Then came news yesterday that Sarah Palin has been pranked by a couple of radio tricksters in Montreal. Audio of a ridiculous phone conversation between Palin and a guy she presumed to be the president of France is now all over the Internet.

If you haven’t heard it yet, it is embedded below.

Time for this chaotic campaign to end already.

Three days...

... and I can truly visualize either of three outcomes on Tuesday night: a blowout victory for Obama, a squeaky-tight win for Obama, or a stunning upset for McCain.

Because America is on the verge of doing something so profoundly at odds with its history, I cannot put absolute faith in the pollsters. The “intangibles” at play this year are enormous.

Still, you can scroll to the bottom of this homepage throughout the weekend and see the latest poll numbers, as compiled by RealClearPolitics.

Tito the Tool

Joe the Plumber worked out so well for the Republican ticket, now Team McCain has put another “regular guy” in the spotlight: “Tito the Builder.”

Tito Munoz, a Colombian immigrant who supposedly “owns a construction company in Virginia,” was given the honor of introducing Sarah Palin at a rally on Wednesday.

And Tito appeared last night on “Hannity & Colmes” so that Sean Hannity could give him a nice wet beej.

But who is Tito the Builder?

He actually appears in a McCain campaign ad – titled “I Am Joe” – that was uploaded to YouTube last Thursday (October 23).

Except in that video, he calls himself “Tito the Truck Driver.” (I swear, the bullshit games never stop with the Republicans.)

See for yourself. The “I Am Joe” ad is embedded below, under the “Hannity & Colmes” clip.

Four days...

Is Ann Coulter right? Are Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity right? Will John McCain shock the world by defeating Barack Obama on Tuesday? Will Sarah Palin be our next vice president?

You know it could happen. In your bones, you know this.

So prepare to cast your ballot, if you haven’t already.

Rapper Andre “Dres” Titus of Black Sheep has revamped his 1991 hip-hop classic “The Choice Is Yours” (“You can get with this, or you can get with that...”). Check out the brand new video:

Joe the Bummer

John McCain got his face broke this morning in Ohio. The video clip – an instant classic – is embedded below.

What’s beautiful about this clip is, it reinforces a narrative. A narrative about Team McCain being less competent (and less lucky) than Team Obama... on the day after Barack Obama rocked a Hollywood-style mini-movie on national television.

Last weekend, pundits said “Joe the Plumber” was gaining traction as a campaign issue... that this concocted symbol of Hard-Working White America was pulling voters toward McCain.

Now, this embarrassing moment will suck another day’s focus away from the major McCain talking point of Obama-as-socialist. David Shuster highlighted it on MSNBC an hour ago; the Huffington Post is leading with it; the YouTube clip has racked up 155,000 views already.

Just wait until the late-night comics have at it.

UPDATE (10/30/08): This clip was show twice tonight on Anderson Cooper’s show. And, of course, Keith Olbermann couldn’t resist hyping it on “Countdown.”

But McCain’s awkward moment wasn’t shown at all on Fox News, as far as I can tell. (Merely an oversight on their part, I’m sure.)