Tuesday, September 2, 2008

President McCain’s Cabinet – an advance look

John McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin as his running mate proves one thing for sure: He’s a maverick, an out-of-the-box thinker, a bold leader determined to shake up Washington.

Say goodbye to business-as-usual once President McCain takes charge!

I have secret information about McCain’s wish list for the Cabinet. Not surprisingly, Gov. Palin isn’t the only “outsider” with whom McCain plans to surround himself. Here are several others. And they, like Sarah Palin, all have impressive credentials:

Secretary of Defense: DONALD J. GOLDHORN
Currently: Adjutant General, Guam National Guard

Maj. Gen. Don Goldhorn has led the Guam National Guard – a force of 1,100 soldiers and airmen – since 2005. In that role, he’s the key advisor to the governor of Guam on all matters military.

As a U.S. territory in Asia, Guam conveys upon Goldhorn vast expertise in international affairs.

Like McCain, he is a Vietnam veteran. And among Goldhorn’s recent decorations are a South Dakota National Guard Desert Storm Ribbon 
and a South Dakota National Guard Distinguished Unit Ribbon.

Most importantly to McCain, Gen. Goldhorn has never worked at the Pentagon. So he is the living embodiment of “change.”

Secretary of State: ANN WAGNER
Currently: U.S. Ambassador to Luxembourg

The Hon. Ann Wagner has been Ambassador to the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg for three years. But she’s not a Foreign Service establishment hack.

In fact, she had no prior diplomatic experience. But she was co-chair of the Republican National Committee for four years, and has traveled to 48 of America’s 50 states.

Known as a “high-octane multi-tasker,” Wagner had been active in numerous charities, including Campfire USA, St. Louis Children’s Hospital and Catholic Charities of St. Louis, and she raised three children.

Her devotion to public service includes nine years as a local committeewoman in Lafayette Township, Missouri.

Attorney General: BARRY WOOD
Currently: Administrative District Judge, 5th Judicial District, Idaho

Barry Wood has had a distinguished career in the Idaho court system. He has adjudicated complex water-rights cases, and he presided over a high-profile murder trial in 2005.

Judge Wood was honored by his peers with the 2006 Kramer Award for Excellence.

A McCain insider told me: “Nobody in Washington has ever heard of Barry Wood. That’s exactly what we’re looking for.”

Secretary of the Treasury: DEBRA ALLEN
Currently: Bank teller

With nine years of experience in the banking industry, Debra Allen was named the 2005 Teller of the Year by Southern Missouri Bank. She was honored for her “excellent balancing skills and for her outstanding customer service.”

“She’ll be a breath of fresh air in Washington,” said a McCain staffer. “She’s real. And she’s a maverick.”


Kellybelle said...

I thought you meant Debbie Allen, the dancer. She's a Washington outsider, a twofer, and she could be Secretary of Sass! Mm hm!

Craig Belcher said...

That was funny.

DRE said...

You were wrong for that, UBM! Funny though.

blackstar said...

OH. My. God. This was hilarious!

Dear White People said...

You actually got me going there UBM. Bank teller of the year says the Daily Dunklin. Ha!

Undercover Black Man said...

^ Welcome, D.W.P.

Thanks to all y'all.

Phelps said...

Looks like Clinton's cabinet. That one worked out OK.

Anonymous said...

Quite funny. Sadly should McCain win, his cabinet might not be too far off what you just posted.

Anonymous said...

Problem is that these folks might indeed have some of the damn common sense lacking from people running our Government. On both sides.

brightstarr said...

Anonymous - you are insane. I refuse to listen to this ignorant cynicism any longer. We need to take a tougher look at our candidates. It's a clear choice. Either way.

But that first picture has me ROTFL. You are SO wrong for putting that up there.

dez said...

I took one look at that picture and started singing, "Spam spam spam spam!" Congrats, you probably just sewed up the Monty Python vote for McCain! :-D

Francisco said...

HA! This was funny. But sadly, each of those were better prepared for their 'cabinet' positions than Brownie when he was running FEMA for Bush.

That's the McCain promise, we are going from an incompetent government to barely competent one.

Anne said...

hey jerk. Did you ever think these are actually real people? Why are you printing this crap? This is a smokescreen for the real problems. You're probably funded by the McCain camp. Not making much money at the stand-up comedy gigs, eh?
Do you know these people? Get a life. Show your picture, coward.