Thursday, August 20, 2009

UBM presents: Celebrity Tweets of the Day!

(Below are actual Twitter posts from earlier today.)

Kim Kardashian: “My retainer is cutting the inside of my mouth, maybe its too small. I need 2 go 2 the orthodontist :( ”

Shaquille O’Neal: “im at knots berry farms n my butts 2 big 2 fit in da seats on ride. ahhhhhh (dats me yellin)”

Sean “P. Diddy” Combs: “They want me to stop talkin about GOD on twitter!!! And my answer is NEVER!!! #Godismyhero take that!”

Miley Cyrus: “P.S. I have GOT to start wearing my retainer again. Just a thought ha.”

Star Jones: “My friend Tara & I just spent the afternoon drinking wine & laughing at our favorite ‘Miranda Priestly’ lines from The Devil Wears Prada”

Hill Harper: “Just finished Runyon Canyon and now heading back to set to finish shooting CSI:NY. I’ll twitter from set!!”

Erykah Badu: “At marthas vineyard with Dj dnice on the wheels... I love it .. Going on stage now!.... In t-10”

Lance Armstrong: “Getting a massage. Listening to The Fleet Foxes.”

Serena Williams: “I’m getting treatment. My physio is working on my hamstrings. They r sooooooo tight!!!!!”

(Now, as if that wasn’t exciting enough... a video from Ben Stiller.)


Undercover Black Man said...

There's a concept here somewhere. I just don't know what it is yet.

D W JazzLover said...


Geneva Girl said...

Lawd have mercy man! I thought you had a job. How do you have time to read all of that random nonsense?

I got on to Twitter to read your girl MH-L's Tweets because Rachel Maddow raved about them. After a few reads, I decided that I'd rather scrub the toilets. I've got my own life.

Undercover Black Man said...

^ Job don't kick in for another few weeks.

lawegohard said...

I believe Twitter allows some celebrities to fill that deep hole that leaves them insecure and craving attention.

Clearly there is some confusion here about their importance to the world.

I would like to read tweets from:

1. Obama
2. Osama
3. God
4. Devil
5. Deceased friends and family

quirkychick said...

Twitter is basically a bonanza for the exhibitionists, the voyeurs and those who want to try to make celebrities their friends by tweeting at them.

Myself - I like it to blow off steam. It's a place I can express my neuroses (I don't have many people following me and I like it like that) and say a lot of completely rude and inappropriate stuff I'd like to say to people's faces, but lately I've actually started saying it to their faces so I twitter less.

Undercover Black Man said...

^ I didn't even know you were on Twitter, quirkychick.

The thing about tweeting is... by design it's not conducive to complicated thought or artful language.

Unlike blogging, which is the greatest mode of human expression since Pharaonic hieroglyphics!

Undercover Black Man said...

5. Deceased friends and family

Tweets from the dead... Now that's a fuckin' concept, la.

papasean said...

"There's a concept here somewhere. I just don't know what it is yet."

The contrast between the lonely old guy who can't listen to the radio because of the repeating music (and no jazz), can't adjust the antenna on the tv because there is no more analog tv, can't figure out the car controls, etc. and the people surrounding him using all the gadgets he is unaware of.

KST said...

What a great way to kill some brain cells on my lunch hour!

Miley and Kim need to hook up and discuss their mutual retainer issues.

Shaquille needs to hook up with Star for weight loss tips to fit his ass in the rides.

P. Diddy - got nothin' for this one. Um, maybe he should fan God on FB?

Hill Haper - He's pretty.

Erykah- for real? Cos when I saw you in concert in Cincy it took you two hours to bring your diva behind onstage!

Lance and Serena - just had a naughty visual of them in a steam room together. ; )

Undercover Black Man said...

Shaquille needs to hook up with Star for weight loss tips to fit his ass in the rides.


Well played, KST. Well played indeed.

bklyn6 said...

My first reaction to the tweets was "who gives a f*ck?" But then I remembered that a tweet confirmed a possible celebrity sighting I had a few months ago.

So yay for tweets!

Um...a little.

illmathividual said...

Mickey Rooney is a sweet old man. Ill wants to pinch his chubby little cheeks.... no homo

I think Twitter was by commissioned by the Manhattan Institute. A concerted effort to make us dummer. ;)

Lola Gets said...

Wait, isnt Shaq too tall for amusement park rides? Id think so.