Sunday, August 12, 2007

Tonight at 10 p.m. ...

... I’ll be watching the Flavor Flav roast on Comedy Central. Looks like it’s gonna be sick, nasty, ridiculous... and one to remember. I love that Comedy Central has revived this show-biz tradition.

A few of the stand-up comics I’ve hyped on this blog – Patton Oswalt, Lisa Lampanelli, Katt Williams – will be in the place to be. And you gots to see Greg Giraldo’s joke about Ice-T!

UPDATE (08/13/07): Wow, that was brutal. And wonderful. Everything I hoped it would be.

When you give very funny people a license to be gross, offensive and shocking, it can yield a special kind of deep, stress-relieving laughter. The Flavor Flav roast had jokes about cavernous pussies and tiny dicks; yeast infections and syphilis; male effeminacy and female mannishness; plus every race taboo you can imagine.

The only thing I don’t like is when black people are compared to the color of shit, which happened at least twice last night. But even then, hell... Jimmy Kimmel had his roaster’s license so who can complain?

It was an educational show, too. Afterwards I had to look up what “shave my taint” means, and now I know.

Anyway, here’s my ranking of Top 10 jokes of the roast, in ascending order:

10. Jimmy Kimmel: “Lisa Lampanelli almost didn’t make it here tonight. She was chained to a truck axle in Michael Vick’s back yard.”

9. Jeffrey Ross (to Flavor Flav): “You remind me of my uncle. My Uncle Tom.”

8. Ice-T (about Lisa Lampanelli): “I never been in Lisa Lampanelli’s pussy. I tried to get in once, but the fire marshall was in there turning niggas away.”

7. Sommore (to Jimmy Kimmel): “Please introduce me to the motherfucker who’s keeping you on TV so I can suck his dick too, okay?”

6. Carrot Top (to Brigitte Nielsen): “How’d you go from fucking Rocky to fucking Bullwinkle?”

5. Greg Giraldo (to Flav): “You look like Idi Amin after a three-year crack binge on the sun.”

4. Sommore (to Flav): “You look like Magic Johnson should look.”

3. Lisa Lampanelli: “My twat has been on more black guys’ lips than purple Kool-Aid.”

2. Patton Oswalt’s extended riff on Brigitte Nielsen’s vagina: “... this yawning cavern full of stalactites and devil-bats...”

1. Lisa Lampanelli: “I always thought they called you Carrot Top because of your hair. Now I know it’s because everybody wants to see you buried up to your forehead in dirt.”

UPDATE (08/13/07): Hey, what the hell am I thinking? The killer line of the night was Giraldo’s shot at Ice-T: “You’re so old, the first thing you bought with your record-deal money was your freedom.”


SJ said...

They have been playing the ads all the time, and I'll definitely tune in.

tAnYeTTa said...

i cannot wait to read your review on the show. i just watched it. who wrote bree-geets jokes? they were funny. no? ok nevermind. :)

Undercover Black Man said...

But everybody else, Tanyetta... everybody else was bangin'! (Even Snoop and Ice-T.) Brutally funny... all the way up to the edge of offensive. And probably beyond, for a lot of folks...

Did you like?

John said...

Loved the show! Brigitte Nielsen was awful but as least she was there to serve as a joke magnet. Best/worst line: Comparison of Flavor to Magic. Runner up: Comparison to Benoit.

SJ said...

I thought Kimmel was on fire...the comparison to Benoit was a bit too much, and I loved it!

I also loved it when Kimmel dissed Mind Of Mencia.

Edshugeo The GodMoor said...

I thought the show was awesome. I hadn't seen one of these roast things in a while, but this may be the best one I've seen.

On the commercial breaks, when Flav announces who's coming up, the way he pronounced Lampinella continued to make me laugh, even though I've never really known what "Cold lampin'" meant on those old PE records.

I think I used to hate Carrot-top, by now I've completely forgotten why.

SJ said...

I have to admit, I have been sort of a closet Carrot-Top "fan". His props bring something "new" to comedy.

Undercover Black Man said...

^ And I'll bet you Carrot Top was the richest comedian on that stage last night. More money than Jimmy Kimmel even. Carrot Top has been a major headliner in Vegas for years.

Undercover Black Man said...

^ I can't see paying to see Carrot Top's live show... though I may be missing something. I always preferred the prop comedy of Joel Hodgson.

Lola Gets said...

I dont have cable, so I really appreciated this top ten list: hilarious!

And for those that have hair on their taint...well, I caint help ya!

Undercover Black Man said...

Lola, this is the one to own on DVD.

tAnYeTTa said...

I LOVED the show. I laughed and laughed. I LOVED Ice-T's comment about it being hard to just sit back without effing somebody up! LOL

I loved the show. I watched it TWICE! And laughed harder the second time because I missed a few parts the first time around.

Snoop was HIGHER than a kite!

Sommore said, she didn't know whether or not to fuck Katt Williams or breast feed him or whatever she said. OMG i loved the show. :)

p.s. the only part that i did not like was the referral to magic johnson but, hey, it is what it is....comedy! LOVED IT ALL.
OMG i will stop now.

Undercover Black Man said...

^ I saw it for a second time too, Tanyetta... a few nights ago. Still funny!