... I’ll be watching the Flavor Flav roast on Comedy Central. Looks like it’s gonna be sick, nasty, ridiculous... and one to remember. I love that Comedy Central has revived this show-biz tradition.
A few of the stand-up comics I’ve hyped on this blog – Patton Oswalt, Lisa Lampanelli, Katt Williams – will be in the place to be. And you gots to see Greg Giraldo’s joke about Ice-T!
UPDATE (08/13/07): Wow, that was brutal. And wonderful. Everything I hoped it would be.
When you give very funny people a license to be gross, offensive and shocking, it can yield a special kind of deep, stress-relieving laughter. The Flavor Flav roast had jokes about cavernous pussies and tiny dicks; yeast infections and syphilis; male effeminacy and female mannishness; plus every race taboo you can imagine.
The only thing I don’t like is when black people are compared to the color of shit, which happened at least twice last night. But even then, hell... Jimmy Kimmel had his roaster’s license so who can complain?
It was an educational show, too. Afterwards I had to look up what “shave my taint” means, and now I know.
Anyway, here’s my ranking of Top 10 jokes of the roast, in ascending order:
10. Jimmy Kimmel: “Lisa Lampanelli almost didn’t make it here tonight. She was chained to a truck axle in Michael Vick’s back yard.”
9. Jeffrey Ross (to Flavor Flav): “You remind me of my uncle. My Uncle Tom.”
8. Ice-T (about Lisa Lampanelli): “I never been in Lisa Lampanelli’s pussy. I tried to get in once, but the fire marshall was in there turning niggas away.”
7. Sommore (to Jimmy Kimmel): “Please introduce me to the motherfucker who’s keeping you on TV so I can suck his dick too, okay?”
6. Carrot Top (to Brigitte Nielsen): “How’d you go from fucking Rocky to fucking Bullwinkle?”
5. Greg Giraldo (to Flav): “You look like Idi Amin after a three-year crack binge on the sun.”
4. Sommore (to Flav): “You look like Magic Johnson should look.”
3. Lisa Lampanelli: “My twat has been on more black guys’ lips than purple Kool-Aid.”
2. Patton Oswalt’s extended riff on Brigitte Nielsen’s vagina: “... this yawning cavern full of stalactites and devil-bats...”
1. Lisa Lampanelli: “I always thought they called you Carrot Top because of your hair. Now I know it’s because everybody wants to see you buried up to your forehead in dirt.”
UPDATE (08/13/07): Hey, what the hell am I thinking? The killer line of the night was Giraldo’s shot at Ice-T: “You’re so old, the first thing you bought with your record-deal money was your freedom.”