Vulgarity defined (or, Keith Olbermann serves up six liters of pus and another ‘goddamn’)

Tonight MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann delivered a 14-minute “Special Comment” that’s setting the left-wing blogosphere on fire.

You’re a hero, Keith! Stay strong, Keith! Everyone in Congress should hear your words, Keith!

I didn’t have that reaction while watching Olbermann speak at length about his near-dead father... as prelude to a mawkish appeal for health-care reform.

To me, it was jaw-droppingly vulgar. From start to finish an insult to the dignity of persons... and an assault on such old-fashioned values as family privacy, public propriety and on-air professionalism.

It was a bizarre bit of broadcasting that I cannot imagine coming from any other broadcaster in the history of broadcasting. It was morbid narcissism dressed up as moral indignation. And was politically incoherent to boot.

It’s embedded below... the whole shit. Watch for yourself if you think I’m tripping. I am too sleepy right now to unpack all my thoughts. But I’m sure I’ll stay wound up about this into the weekend.

Status update

(Click it if it’s too small to read.)

Random hipness

Seventeen days on YouTube... and 2.4 million views. For an Old Spice commercial? Yes. You need to see it. (Hat-tip: Harry Allen.)

Random hipness

A Super Bowl commercial worth noting

I don’t go all twerky over Super Bowl commercials. That’s not me.

I mean... yeah, Betty White is a game old broad. And it was cool to see one of my old “Kingpin” cast members, Shay Roundtree, in that house-made-of-beer-cans commercial.

I giggled at some other shit too. But I’m not going to devote a whole post to Super Bowl commercials.

This post is about Christopher Guest, filmmaker and comic actor, and his new source of income. Did you happen to catch the commercial for the U.S. census? (Follow this link if you missed it.)

It was directed by Mr. Guest. And it features familiar faces from his “mockumentary” films such as “Waiting for Guffman” and “A Mighty Wind.” (Ed Begley, Jr., Bob Balaban, Don Lake...)

I’m not wild about that census commercial. Just sort of puzzled by it. Nevertheless, I am digging the fact that Chris Guest is in the ad game big time.

Perhaps you’ve seen his spots for DirecTV. Those are comical.

His biggest campaign so far has been for Healthy Choice frozen foods. Surely you’ve seen those Julia Louis-Dreyfus commercials.

I can’t stand ’em. Thirty seconds is not the ideal length for Christopher Guest’s brand of whimsy.

Actually, there’s a Healthy Choice commercial on YouTube that I’ve not seen on TV. And I like it. Because it’s got Jane Lynch, who is No. 4 with a bullet on my list of favorite dykes. Check it out:

Meet the ‘lint-licker’ lady

If you thought me frivolous for showcasing a daggone chewing gum commercial on this blog, hang on... I’m not done.

For one thing, the “lint-licker” ad has been hailed far and wide across the internets. Last May, the PopEater blog declared: “This Orbit commercial is one of the funniest things we’ve ever seen.”

On first viewing (mere weeks ago), I tripped out on “Pickle you, kumquat!” But now, it’s all about “You lint-licker!” – about as perfect a moment of comic acting as you will find in any medium.

I had to find out more about that actress.

Her name is Jesse Copano. Actually, that’s her married name. She’s also known as Jesse Meriwether.

I would’ve bet money that Jesse had an improv background... like Stephanie Courtney from those Progressive Insurance spots. That doesn’t appear to be the case, though. She got her start doing plays in New Orleans.

Jesse Copano is doing well for herself as a commercial actress. (Movie blogger Joe Blevins calls her “the Meryl Streep of TV commercials.”) But I hope bigger things are in store for her.

Below are two of her other spots. Matter fact, these are the first two jobs Ms. Copano got after moving to Los Angeles.

This is my favorite commercial.

And I am not alone...

First official images from ‘Treme’...

... are up on HBO’s website. Look for the photo gallery. The series premieres in April.

If this music triggers happy memories...

... then you’re as big a TV nerd as I am. I used to love me some “ABC Movie of the Week.” Who’s with me?

Remember “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark”? (Especially the bit with the flashbulbs?) How about “The Girl Most Likely to...”? (Written by Joan Rivers, this one provided Stockard Channing her first starring role.)

I remember “The Feminist and the Fuzz.” (Even before my first hard-on, I was totally into Barbara Eden.) “Shirts/Skins.” (Turns out this was written by Bruce Paltrow... who returned to the subject of basketball with “The White Shadow.”) “It Couldn’t Happen to a Nicer Guy.” (A comedy about a man raped by a woman at gunpoint.)

Wasn’t there one where a guy was trapped inside a department store all night with some pissed-off Dobermans? I think James Brolin was the star. Hang on, lemme check IMDb right quick...

Yep. Brolin. It was called “Trapped.” (U.K. title: “Doberman Patrol.”)

Can’t remember whether I actually saw “Killdozer” or just heard so many other kids talk about it.

Anyway, that “Movie of the Week” theme music... always loved it.

Just found out it was written by Burt Bacharach. A tune called “Nikki.”

Now for a treat. Click here to hear on my Vox blog Mr. Bacharach’s own version of “Nikki”... originally released on his 1971 solo album.

“Nikki” was named after Bacharach’s daughter with Angie Dickinson. Sadly, Nikki Bacharach committed suicide in 2007.

Coming in April

Yeeeaaah, muthafuckaaas!

‘Sam Cooke: Crossing Over’ on PBS tonight

Check your local listings for the time. Looks like a good one.

‘The future is right now.’

Christmas Grace

Merry Christmas to one and all!

It’s Frank Zappa Day.

That’s right. Today is officially “Frank Zappa Day” in the city of Baltimore, where Zappa was born on December 21, 1940.

To honor this American original, I’ve embedded a 16½-minute video clip of Frank Zappa on “The Steve Allen Show” in the early 1960s.

Zappa wasn’t brought on the show for any serious purpose. He was there to perform a sort of Stupid Human Trick: playing the bicycle as a musical instrument.

Even then, the boy wasn’t quite normal. But Allen had fun with it. And Zappa’s dry sense of humor was in full effect.

The video ends with a full-on avant-garde improvisation by Zappa with Allen and the show’s band. It is one of the coolest things on the internets.

Steve Allen was a musician himself, you know. Big-time jazz aficionado. It is often said that Mr. Allen composed more than 10,000 songs. (As a wise guy once remarked: “Name two.”)

I am drained.

Last night we wrapped 11 days of filming on an episode of “Treme” that I wrote. The show is now going on break for two weeks. Just in time.

Best part of the experience: My episode was directed by Ernest Dickerson, the cinematographer of “Do the Right Thing” and “Malcolm X.” Ernest and I did a lot of talking about music, movies and food during this shoot.

Also, I got to shake Dr. John’s hand. (Photo above: David Simon and me at the recording studio where we filmed Dr. John.)

Worst part of the experience: I was sick with a chest cold for the second half of the shoot... and New Orleans is a bitch when it’s cold and rainy. All I want to do right now is sleep.

A star is born

I like those Best Buy commercials with the Christmas carolers. Aren’t those cute?

One caroler in particular I really dig. And I bet you know which one I mean. She just pops off the screen every time.

Ladies and gentlemen... meet Valerie DeAngelo:

Too bad I don’t have TV One.

Anybody see the “Unsung” episode with Bootsy earlier this month? Here is a taste:

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Worst Broadcaster in the World

Last night, on television, Keith Olbermann casually referred to a sitting U.S. congressman as a “son of a bitch.” Within five minutes, Mr. Olbermann also told Glenn Beck and his followers to “go to hell.”

As with his occasional utterances of “goddamn” on the air, one can argue, I suppose, that this is entertaining.

Inarguably, it is crass. It is weak writing. (Each profanity was carefully scripted.) Such vulgarity is unpersuasive as political speech and, of course, unprofessional for a major-league journalist.

(Yes, Mr. Olbermann does consider himself a journalist... in the Edward R. Murrow tradition, no less.)

Hey Keith... you child... what’s next? Gonna talk about Rush Limbaugh’s mama? Call Glenn Beck a faggot?

I bet you dollar money Sean Hannity has never – not once, not ever – referred to anybody as a “son of a bitch” on his air. And Hannity’s the King of All Douchebags!

But he is a better broadcaster than you, Keith.

You think it’s hip to make the cable news experience more like reading lunatic blogs or watching “Family Guy”? Or maybe, being wrapped like a Hollywood mummy in liberal sanctimony, you think you’re speaking truth to power. Or impressing us with your passion.

Get over yourself, Keith. The words that tumble from your mouth are making the world just a little bit worse. Because you are contributing directly to the degradation of our political culture.

UPDATE (11/04/09): And looky here. The Huffington Post is encouraging him! It’s a daggone shame, people...

Well hush my mouth...

I just discovered this on YouTube. Some Mexican dude edited clips from my old TV show, “Kingpin,” and laid a narcocorrido (“drug ballad”) on top of it. Looks like he coordinated the pictures and the lyrics, too.

Thing’s been up since February ’08... and has close to half a million hits! I ain’t mad at him...

A mystery solved

Remember this chick? Remember when she used to be on the Letterman show all the time, doing odd “comedy” bits with Dave?

Now I know why.

Her name is Stephanie Birkitt, and she used to be David Letterman’s assistant. Entertainment Weekly wrote about her in 2002. Headline: “David Letterman’s Girl Friday tells all.”

Yeah, well. Evidently not “all.”

Ms. Birkitt’s own hometown paper, the Manchester (New Hampshire) Union-Leader, profiled her in 2004:

“Birkitt, 29, has taken an unlikely road to success, and she’s as mystified as her family and friends back at home as to how she became a favorite of the late-night comedy host and a weekly regular on the CBS television show.”

“Mystified,” eh? “Favorite,” was she?

Turns out Letterman was boning her.

Get ready for the David Letterman sex scandal to last a good couple of weeks. Me, I don’t care who he slept with. But I do care what he put on the air.

Now it kinda seems like he was putting a joke over on his audience... making a TV celebrity out of the young employee he was banging.