Sunday, March 8, 2009

Random hotness


Lola Gets said...

Ive seen this commercial before. Ladies, if youre thinking of purchasing this item cause your bra doesnt hold you up, dont waste your money - buy a new damned bra!!!

This has been a public service announcement from Lola Always Gets. Thank you for reading.


Undercover Black Man said...

^ I thank you on behalf of my lady readers, Lola.

I first saw a variation of this commercial (same product) on Spanish-language television.

But for some reason, I'm enchanted with this Chinese version. Isn't it perfect in every way?

The English-as-second-language narration... the overwrought "acting"... the cheesy sound effects... the sheer fraudulent mind-fuckery of it all!

Undercover Black Man said...

The "sexy valley"... yeah, baby... you want that "sexy valley"!!

lawegohard said...

"Be a women and stick out your chest!"

Oh, yes, this version is divine. Magnets to push up your breast. WTF! You can't travel with that Sh*t. Looks great, until you get in the BEDROOM! That is when you will have some explaining to do.

All of us have had the unhook with one hand move that the guy does on us. You know it is hella' awkward until he unhooks. This would freak out a teenage boy!

You have to earn the "sexy valley", no cheating.

Undercover Black Man said...

^ I like your style.

Geneva Girl said...

UBM, where do you find this stuff? I was all for the posture improvement, but when they got to the bit about fat flowing like a river, or some such nonesense, it lost me. As hysterical as this is, it is also a sad commentary on how advertising can eat away at a woman's self esteem.

Dollar Bill said...

I would make fun of you obvious Asian fetish, but what is there to make fun of?

I have vauge memories of lovely days spent in the Sexy Valley, but haven't toured that area in a while.

As for if that contraption really works, it's got NANO TECHNOLOGY!
How could it not?

lawegohard said...

"fat flowing like a river"

I believe this was translated by a Rosetta Stone program.

@UBM, thanks, this is a great blog. I will do my best not be too vulgar or embarrass my family.

*I did have to hold off on sending the sexy valley photo to kill this post. :)

Undercover Black Man said...

@UBM, thanks, this is a great blog. I will do my best not be too vulgar or embarrass my family.

Well, you already took the perfect line... "Be a woman and stick out your chest!"

Coquinegra said...

Well, it was funny, for sure--but speaking as one of those over 40s who could use a little help hoisting these DD girls..too bad it was so cheezy and fake. and as for lawegohard? if a man gets in the sexy valley and the bedroom, he ought to be happy and not asking for explanations---ya heard?