Monday, April 7, 2008

Gross

I’ve leased a new car. I’ve been rolling around with it for a couple of weeks now... enjoying the new car smell.

And then something weird happened. I popped over to McDonald’s on Saturday for a late-night snack. Filet-O-Fish, medium fries, Coke. (My goal is to die before this lease expires.)

So I come home and enjoy my food while watching “Saturday Night Live.”

Cut to Sunday evening. I climb in my car again, this time to visit the donut shop. (I have a three-year lease.) And the interior of my brand new Corolla smells like McDonald’s. You know... that penetrating grease smell. It’s disgusting.

And I’m thinking, “What? That bag was in this car for five minutes. Now, almost 24 hours later, the car stinks of it!”

It totally destroyed the new car smell.

33 comments:

stankulp said...

http://adverlab.blogspot.com/2007/04/bottle-of-new-car-scent.html

Eric said...

With all the women that Corolla's gonna get you, I hope you still have time for this blog.

Undercover Black Man said...

^ The Corolla keeps me humble, dude.

GenevaGirl said...

Baking soda! Sprinkle it on the rugs- and wherever you left the McDo's bag. Leave it overnight and vacuum. Good as new.

I guess one of the new, healthy salads would have been too much?

Undercover Black Man said...

^ Thank you, GenevaGirl!

Bklyn6 said...

With all the women that Corolla's gonna get you, I hope you still have time for this blog.

Maybe the women have already been in the car?

Sorry, UBM.

eric's right. Hope you still have time to get your blog on.

Coquinegra said...

*Now* you know to eat your Mickey D's with your head hanging out the window, silly!!! or do what we did in the hood...sit on the back of the open trunk :-)

DeAngelo Starnes said...

hilfuckingarious!!!

btw, you ever check out some of our favorite musicians' pages on myspace? The shit is dope. Was hanging on harriet tubman's page which led to melvin gibbs' page which led to jean-paul bourelly's page which led to fred alias' page which led to graham haynes' page that I'm on as I check your blog.

DeAngelo Starnes said...

which led to will calhoun which led to headfake (doug wimbish and will calhoun) - some real phat shit on headfake, yo!

Undercover Black Man said...

^ Being on injured reserve is gonna get you strung out on the Internet worser than me. ;^)

Elwood said...

Filet-O-Fish? Really? People still eat that nasty-ass sandwich? No "lake trout" available?

I would think, upgrading to a Corolla, you'd at least spring for McNuggets or something. Shit.

DeAngelo Starnes said...

Dave, you ain't never lied. I've become an Internet junkie.

Btw, headfake has another page called headfake sound system. the headfake page has more jungle funk cuts on it.

doug wimbish is a son of bootsy on that bass with all the effects he uses.

hoping tcm does a charlton heston retrospective before I go back to work.

DeAngelo Starnes said...

checking out tackhead now.

DeAngelo Starnes said...

the glen goins tribute page is smoking!!!

Minister Faust said...

Maybe what you smelled was *death*. http://www.edmunds.com/advice/buying/articles/121443/article.html

Thembi said...

Dont you see...it's all over.

If you had gotten ANYTHING ELSE but Filet-o-Fish there would be at least some hope. But you got fast food AND fish. There are only a few more things that will stink up a car that you didn't put in there (bodily wastes are pretty much all that are left). Now all you can do is cover over top of it. For shame, UBM. For shame.

ps - Im only so pious because The Whopper is my only weakness.

Rottin' in Denmark said...

Ugh, I know *exactly* what you mean, dude. I think my Civic still smells like a Clinton-era McRib.

One thing I'm always amazed about that smell is A) how it's instantly identifyable as The Fast Food Smell and B) how it's *exactly* the same in every country you go to. American fast food places smell like American fast food places, whether you're in Japan, Turkey, Australia, Italy or Iceland.

In my experience, KFC and Subway are the worst on the smell-particularity scale.

Francisco said...

Maybe we need to set-up UBM with Xzibit to pimp-his-ride pronto... cause, dude, WTF? a Corolla? That car will keep you humble for sure. It seems beneath you! Your talent deserves at least a humongo-Escalade at 9MPG.

Undercover Black Man said...

One thing I'm always amazed about that smell is A) how it's instantly identifyable as The Fast Food Smell...

Hey Rottin'. Reminds me of a story a guy told me way back in college. I think he worked at a McDonald's. And every day after work dogs would follow him home.

Undercover Black Man said...

Francisco: I need a hit show, brah. I need some of that David Simon money.

Undercover Black Man said...

There are only a few more things that will stink up a car that you didn't put in there (bodily wastes are pretty much all that are left).

I actually did that to my last car, Thembi. I almost blogged about it... but a close friend talked me out of it.

Anonymous said...

Man, how *old* are you? You're *leasing* a car *and* eating at McDonalds?

New Fish Car smell is the least of your problems.

It did make me laugh though.

beelikemike9d5 said...

thats what you get for leasing a Corrolla for 3 years. What a waste of money

Undercover Black Man said...

^ In the words of my financial advisor, Bobby Brown: "I made this money, you didn't."

John B. said...

This is like that Seinfeld episode.

Seriously, though, can't you get "new car smell" in a spray can?

fishesalot said...

...2 fillet-o-fish special order, w/ lettuce, tomatoe, catsup, hold the tartar, supersize fries,...now thats my favorite for shizzle.

Something about that fish, can't put my finger on it, ...love um.

Peace

fishesalot

clem said...

Hah! I worked at Fort Detrick a few years back.

I was walking with a co-worker one day. She asked, "Smell that smell? What do you think that smells like?"

"It smell like dumpster area behind a MacDonalds," I said.

"No, today's the day of the week when the incinerate the lab monkeys," she said.

Which begs the question ...

Undercover Black Man said...

^ That was one weirdly melancholy comment, Clem. Poor incinerated lab monkeys. They died so that we may live.

elle said...

I only ate a Filet O Fish once. It was at least ten years ago. I will never forget it. Like a nuke going off in my stomach, I made a mental note to never eat a fish sandwich again.

Anonymous said...

soylent green is monkeys?

Undercover Black Man said...

^ Hee-heee!

Des said...

Dang dude....what do you think happened to all that leftover Welfare cheese? The only cheese you can fry in a pan. Peep that lil orange patch on the fil-o-fish next time...and get a free lesson in negro history.

Oyn said...

I hate when I drive home with any kind of food in my car. It always smells for days.

But McDonalds is the worst. It smells like salt for hours.