One of the things I like about writing this blog is that it attracts geniuses.
One such genius, DeAngelo Starnes, presented this idea in a previous comment thread: a “booty-shot” version of America’s fastest-growing quiz sensation... Negro, Not a Negro!
I immediately commenced to gathering booties.
It was difficult to find appropriate pictures that didn’t reveal some skin (which would make them useless for this game). But I’ve got four. And that’s just enough to proceed with this experiment.
Not a contest. No prizes. Just an experiment.
So check out these four bodies. And for each, tell me – Negro? Or not a Negro?
I have left the Latinas out of this, because I don’t wanna get into any bio-anthropological debates about the African ancestry of Puerto Rican or Cuban women. Also, for this particular theme Asian women are, of course, a non-issue. (I kid... I’m a kidder...)
So there it is. Men, mind your manners. Women, you probably have a keener eye for body shapes than we do... so come on and play.
In fact, that’ll be the object of this experiment: to see who’s better at deciphering these curves, women or men.
UPDATE (08/09/07): Thank you all for playing. I done stumped the band! Nobody got all of ’em right. So here’s the deal:
A. Not a Negro
B. Not a Negro
D. Not a Negro
A was my ringer; that’s Kim Kardashian, possessor of the most talked-about hiney since Beyonce’s. Some folks (including one of my commenters) say that Kim’s butt is fake (i.e., surgically enhanced). I say: Don’t hate. I live in an Armenian neighborhood; Armenian girls got curves.
Anyways, between Kim Kardashian’s sex tape with Ray J and a rumored romance with Reggie Bush, dat thang is playa-tested and brutha-approved.
B is Jessica Biel. Cute shape... but she wasn’t fooling most of y’all. Ain’t no Africa in that one.
C you don’t know. She’s Sarah Hubinger. This photo doesn’t show her off proper, but it’s the only one I could find that doesn’t reveal her skin tone. Check out her MySpace page. It’ll give you a whole new outlook on plaid Bermuda shorts.
She’s got a book and DVD out called “Jiggles: Backyard Tales”... for and about “butt-loving men” and “booty-blessed women.” Apparently her ass is her life. And I see why. I bet half the pictures ever taken of her, she’s looking over her shoulder.
Racially, Sarah is bi. German mom; “black Creole” dad.
D is Kelly Clarkson. Again, this isn’t the picture to do her justice. (This one is.) I dig her shape. I have ever since “American Idol.” But she doesn’t put the booty out there, make it do some of the work. I don’t understand why.
Well, this was interesting. I probably won’t be doing it again, though. The right type of photos are just too hard to come by, as proven by these.