Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Leave my face out of the conversation.

So I’m sitting in the men’s room at work, and I happen to read the wrapper on the Precious brand toilet paper. It says “facial quality.”

I’m thinking, “You know... I would be perfectly satisfied with ‘butthole quality.’ ”
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14 comments:

  1. Geneva GirlNovember 17, 2009 at 8:41 AM

    TMI.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Max ReddickNovember 17, 2009 at 9:40 AM

    Ah, so true. Making it of such quality that it can be used on your face is simply superfluous. I am satisfied if it is only of the quality sufficient for the purposes for which it is needed.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Undercover Black ManNovember 17, 2009 at 9:53 AM

    ^ Eloquently stated.

    ReplyDelete
  4. 'DreaNovember 17, 2009 at 10:38 AM

    Hee hee. The folks at Precious want you to know that they've exceeded expectations...

    ReplyDelete
  5. mariaNovember 17, 2009 at 10:49 AM

    too funny.

    have you ever experienced toilet paper outside the US?

    it's like dog butthole quality.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Undercover Black ManNovember 17, 2009 at 10:53 AM

    ^ Funny you should mention, but isn't that, like, a serious "global warming" issue? That the key to the softness and durability of U.S. toilet paper is the use of tree pulp? That the fiber's just not the same from recycled?

    Good luck telling the American people we'd better adjust to rougher toilet paper if we want to be good global citizens.

    ReplyDelete
  7. mariaNovember 17, 2009 at 12:52 PM

    i have been using recycled toilet paper for years and no longer know if it's less soft than other kinds.

    you get used to it, i guess, or it is still soft. who knows!

    when i was in bogota 25 years ago the toilet paper was like crepe paper.

    ReplyDelete
  8. lawegohardNovember 17, 2009 at 12:55 PM

    Exactly UBM. A lot of folks outside of the West are cleaning with their left hand and using water.

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  9. KellybelleNovember 17, 2009 at 12:56 PM

    LOL. Too soft toilet paper clogs the drains. I uase scott tissue--gets the job done and dissolves.

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  10. Undercover Black ManNovember 17, 2009 at 2:45 PM

    Don't worry, y'all... I'm about the change the subject...

    ReplyDelete
  11. odocoileusNovember 17, 2009 at 2:58 PM

    One swipe a clean wipe...

    We bring you the doodoo chasers!


    Betacha can't guess where that's from.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Undercover Black ManNovember 17, 2009 at 3:15 PM

    ^ Dude, who you think you talkin' to?

    I'm a card-carrying member of the Promentalshitbackwashpsychosis Enema Squad.

    (Which one is George Clinton?)

    ReplyDelete
  13. odocoileusNovember 17, 2009 at 3:26 PM

    Alright, you're the one dude who would know right away.

    Music to get your sh*t together by.

    The tidy bowl of your brain.

    Groovelax.

    ReplyDelete
  14. that dudeNovember 18, 2009 at 12:04 PM

    Hell no, I DEMAND facial quality.

    ReplyDelete