Okay, I can admit it. I’m jealous of Stuff White People Like. (And I’m not alone either.)That satirical blog, just a few months old, has blown up huge. Everybody’s talking about it, linking to it. Stuff White People Like gets page views by the millions, comments by the hundreds.
All because the No. 1 biggest thing white people like is pretending to poke fun at themselves.
My good friend Nipsey Muhammad was in my ear about this the other day. “These crackas make me sick,” he told me. “What you need to do, Dave... you need to start a new blog. Call it ‘Stuff White People Don’t Like.’ And be real about the shit.”
Well... I’m not starting a new blog. But maybe this will make for an interesting post. So Nipsey and I put our heads together...
Here are a few things that white people don’t like:
1. Black bosses.
2. Mexicans.
3. Being told they’re wrong.
4. Panhandlers.
5. Black people on magazine covers.
6. Islam.
Readers are invited to add to this list.
Incredibly complicated endzone dances performed at midfield by a black linebacker making an incredibly routine tackle. Same thing with the 'jersey tug' after a 15-foot unopposed jump shot - NBA, college or high school...
ReplyDeleteWhy blacks drive past three malls in their neighborhood to come to the ones in our neighborhood...
ReplyDelete(How many more of these do I have to do before somebody figures out why it is pertinent to the Obama campaign, Reverend Wright and why normally decent white people think, say and do really stupid things regarding blacks in general and many individual blacks in particular?)
http://www.theroot.com/id/45371
ReplyDeleteAnd Vince,I just woke up from a long overdue holiday nap,so I am hoping I misread your words.
(I just got through some rage typing here and have clued in to fact that it is a parody thang,but like my rant enough to leave it)
Apply only as needed and under the supervision of a doctor.May cause severe burning sensation.
Who are these "normally decent" people who become so understandably upset at the sight of a Black person and how do they go about figuring out how far they have come to shop in "their" neighborhood?
Did they follow them?Does your neighborhood of decent white folk not sell houses to "undesirable elements" and that's how they know?
Guess you are one of those decent people who has just said something and worse,feels something incredibly stupid.
And screw you and your neighborhood if that's the way it really is.
Sorry if that offends you and your sister/wife or is it wife/sister?
And once again David the perfect graphic as the breakfast to lunch changeover while in line at fast food joints is enough to make anyone snap.
ReplyDeleteI was wondering when there would be a UBM version of SWPL.
ReplyDeleteThe "race card."
Affirmative Action
Big butts
Aging
The truth
Losing/not being number one
Being called racist
Black History Month
Wiggers
White people like The Wire?
ReplyDeleteThings white people don't like:
-Loud people.
Statistics like there are more young Black men in school than in jail.
ReplyDeleteTheir skin without a tan
Louis Farrakhan
Al Sharpton
Jesse Jackson
Jeremiah Wright
Embarrassment that Bill Clinton took a photo with Jeremiah Wright
OJ (who was their favorite Negro before the trial)
The fact that the incredibly complicated dance performed at midfield is a riff on the midfield celebrations started by white defensive player, Mark Gastineau
Talking about the present day effects of slavery and Jim Crow
Black men with good-looking white women
(to be continued ...)
Car radios turned so loud they make your ears bleed even if your windows are up.
ReplyDeleteWalking slowly across the street and making drivers slow down or run you down.
"Louis Farrakhan
ReplyDeleteAl Sharpton
Jesse Jackson
Jeremiah Wright"
Redundant much? :P
And seriously, who doesn't hate those car stereos turned so loud? Just a few minutes ago someone went past my apartment with their speakers blaring...my windows started shaking.
sj, you're right - could've lumped them together along with the Black Panthers, pre-1971 Muhammed Ali, Mumia abu-Jamal, and Spike Lee
ReplyDeleteBut here's one, the post-Bad Michael Jackson.
Beating the shit out of pit bulls
ReplyDeleteThe truth.
ReplyDeleteOuch!
Loud people.
Too true.
Black men with good-looking white women.
Should've been at the top of my list!
White men don't like men with women better-looking than any women they can get!
ReplyDeleteP.S. Why is the Black Man undercover?
Affirmative Action
ReplyDeleteA black woman with a better paid job than them
Being outed for saying or doing something racist
Having to apologise when they're caught
Not being forgiven, profusely, once they are caught
Seeing an average black man with a hot white woman (really, if you're a sports star they give you a special man pass)
BTW, UBM, LOVE the Nipsey alter ego. I think he needs to make more appearances.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Why is the Black Man undercover?
ReplyDeleteBecause I look like this.
Welcome here, Clamp.
... LOVE the Nipsey alter ego.
ReplyDeleteThanks, DeAng.
LOL and here I was holding back a DMX moment saying "ah,hell no there's only one Nipsey(Russell) and his last name isn't gonna be Muhammad!"
ReplyDeleteDamn Starnes,you let the cat out too soon,but at least I can contribute to the list now.
White people don't like when their cultural ignorance is used against them for humor,unless they're the ones making the joke.
White men don't like seeing all the XXXLarge women swarming the Jamacian guys and vice versa,but would not be seen in public with any of the above mentioned ladies.
"Not good enough for me,but too good for them Farm Workers."
As well, offends them that their standard of beauty is not universal.
I can't speak for all white people, only myself, but here's one: I hate that stupid fucking movie Falling Down.
ReplyDeleteNot just that they don't like it, they often have a really hard time understanding that they aren't always the focus of nonwhite people's thoughts.
ReplyDeleteConfrontation
ReplyDeleteLaughing at racial jokes in front of people of color
Jewelry on men
Jewelry on men
ReplyDeleteThat's a great one.
6. Islam.
ReplyDeleteSalaam 'alaikum. Hmmm, must not have gotten the memo about that one. ;)
This is perhaps the numero uno dislike.
ReplyDeleteHaving to compete equally with other races. Oh they HATE that.
If I never again see the name "Nipsey" next to Muhammed I'll die happy.
ReplyDeleteWashcloths
Contemporary R&B
Beating bad kids
Fake hair
Black sitcoms
Animal Cruelty
Isaiah Washington
Star Jones
Blunts
What a sad and racist entry this is. Fact is, if white people made this same list, it would be called racist. This is racist.
ReplyDeleteWhen you point out their sense of
ReplyDeleteentitlement.
deangelo starnes said...
ReplyDeleteStatistics like there are more young Black men in school than in jail. (NOT TRUE, WHY WOULD ANYBODY OF ANY RACE DISAGREE WITH THAT?)
Their skin without a tan (VERY TRUE, PASTY WHITE SKIN IS NOT VERY PRETTY)
Louis Farrakhan (NOT TRUE - LOUIS SPEAKS OUT FOR ACCOUNTABILITY OF THE BLACK MALE)
Al Sharpton (VERY, VERY TRUE)
Jesse Jackson (VERY, VERY, VERY TRUE)
Jeremiah Wright (NOT TRUE - THE REV JUST SAID WHAT HE THOUGHT WAS TRUE. OBAMA SHOULD NOT BE JUDGED FOR WHAT HIS MINISTER SAID. I'M GLAD I AM NOT HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THINGS MY PRIEST SAYS - OR HAS DONE)
Embarrassment that Bill Clinton took a photo with Jeremiah Wright (NOT TRUE - WE WERE EMBARRASSED WE ELECTED HIM AND THEN RE-ELECTED HIM)
OJ (who was their favorite Negro before the trial) (TRUE - YOU HAD TO LOVE THAT AFRO HE HAD IN THAT ONE MOVIE)
The fact that the incredibly complicated dance performed at midfield is a riff on the midfield celebrations started by white defensive player, Mark Gastineau (NOT TRUE, DS, MARK ONLY DID ' A SACK DANCE', NOT A CHOREOGRAPHED 15 SECOND CELEBRATION FOR A BASIC TACKLE)(PLUS, I'M NOT SURE GASTINEAU IS WHITE)
Talking about the present day effects of slavery and Jim Crow (TRUE. WE HAVE SEEN HOW 'DWELLING' ON THAT SUBJECT HAS VIRTUALLY HALTED REAL BLACK PROGRESS SINCE THE DEATH OF MLK. WE DON'T WANT YOU TO "GET OVER IT" OR EVER FORGET IT. PLEASE JUST REALIZE IT WAS THE MOST CRIMINAL AND EMBARRASSING PORTION OF AMERICAN HISTORY, BUT DWELLING ON IT IS GIVING MANY BLACK MALES AN EXCUSE FOR NON-PERFORMANCE AND UNACCOUNTABILITY. DON'T JUDGE PERFORMANCE BY THE NUMBER OF BLACK MALE PHD's, JUDGE BY THE FACT THAT OVER 68% OF ALL BLACK INCOME IS GENERATED BY THE BLACK FEMALE)
Black men with good-looking white women (TRUE. BUT, WHAT ABOUT WHEN WE SEE BLACK MEN WITH AVERAGE OR LESS THAN AVERAGE LOOKING WHITE WOMEN WHEN THERE ARE MANY ATTRACTIVE BLACK FEMALES? WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT?
(to be continued ...)(THANKS, MR . STARNES)
March 21, 2008 7:20 PM
They hate combing their black, uh, pardon me, bi-racial children's hair!!!! They don't know what to do so they do nothing at all.
ReplyDeleteBTW, David, I took a look at your pics. I know I've given you grief about this before, but I must do it again. Why can't you get yourself to a good photographer and get a professional picture taken? The photo was poorly lit and shot from a bad angle, not flattering at all. Why not spend a little money and get a professional portrait for publicity. If you're ever in Philly, I can hook you up with my dad, a prominent photographer there who knows how to properly light black folks - of all colors.
ALL CAP text. Especially if half of it is bolded
ReplyDeleteVaccines
ReplyDeleteWhen we manage to do or say something right on the subject of race, we get angry and resentful when every black person for miles around doesn't treat us like we're something rare and wonderful forever afterwards.
ReplyDeleteI definitely think that we're more intimidated by Black women bosses.
Not just Jackson, Sharpton etc, but any prominent Black person who we didn't put in power.
History. Seriously, not just being reminded of slavery and segregation, but any reminder of problems in the past. "Why can't we just move on?" is a constant white people plaint.
Young Black men. (Gee, do ya think?)
Hard to get into the subtle nuances of white people hatred for hip-hop. It runs along generational lines from really young kids who listen to the stupidest 'hard/keepin' it real' etc. stuff (because it is like watching a scary movie) to older kids who like the beats, but are ironic and contemptuous of the artists, to rockers who profess respect, but keep their distance and don't much get it anyway, to older people who are shocked by bad language etc. but laugh when reminded of punk songs that they liked 20 years ago, that were full of drug references, threats of violence and antisocial attitudes.
The thing about SWPL is that it is making fun of white people that most white people don't even like. The beautiful people. I'll have to admit to reading it daily, but often, when reading SWPL, I think, "Damn, I guess I'm not white. Better not tell mom."
Then again, if I was a young, non-white person who was looking to get in on some of that beautiful people stuff SWPL might be a resource.
History. Seriously, not just being reminded of slavery and segregation, but any reminder of problems in the past. "Why can't we just move on?" is a constant white people plaint.
ReplyDeleteWord. Jon. A white whine. After reading "Lies My Teacher Told Me" I'm just pissed at the way history is taught in grade school. If we learned the right things in the right ways, society as a whole might be more empathetic. But I digress.
Anyways....
1) Not being able to use the word Nigger ("black people say it all they time!") and being reprimanded when they do.
2) The word African-American.
Banging bass through tinted windows in cars at red lights (fear of eminent car jacking)
ReplyDeleteToo many black people gathered all in one place (you don't see a lot of white people at the Crenshaw 15)
A white woman with a child that appears black or bi-racial (there is silent judging about how she got that baby)
The loooooong slooooow walk across the cross walk (it triggers our control issues)
Groups of young black men congregating on dark corners (we've watched too many episodes of the Corner and know this can lead to no good)
The thing about Stuff White People Like is that it's stuff that only a certain group of white people like - I know the people they're talking about. They really do spend an inordinate amount of time at farmers markets, and riding their bikes or hiking outdoors and recycling and then they call you and tell you about it (and that's just their Sunday before noon).
They often seem self congratulatory when they discuss what's going on in their lives.
The thing about this particular group of white people is that they also don't like a lot of stuff about other white people, or just people in general. For instance...
Anyone who is fat (this would translate to any woman larger than a size 2)
Those who stray off the trailer park
Those who smile and show missing teeth
Those who utilize double negatives when speaking
Those who listen to country music and drive pick up giant pick up trucks or SUVs
Those who wear polyester double knit
Those who drop out of high school, have 5 kids and go on welfare
Those who sport mullets
Those who shop at Kmart because they really do need those blue light specials
Those who feed their kids sandwiches made on Wonder Bread and allow them to eat too much processed food
Immigrants unless they're providing nanny or gardener or table bussing services
Not only do these white people not like all of the above but they silently think they are better than those people although they would never actually say that out loud.
There are lots of websites that could take on the subject: Stuff Southern White People Like, Stuff White People in the 909 Like, Stuff White People in the OC Like, Stuff Rich White People Like, Stuff Old White People Like.
When it comes to Stuff White People Don't Like I'm thinking you're still going to need to specify which white people you're talking about.
Us crackas can be complex.
Loads of Fun Listed Here.... If I may start with a Personal fave:
ReplyDeleteNegroes....
...with Library Cards
...that ask for a Better Table
...that tip according to the Service
...churches with Tambourines
...with athletic talent who want to do more than participate in sports
...who tell them they have street cred or can dance.
...who put their kids in check in public
...with better houses AND lawns
...who are better versed in Classical and Heavy Metal music
...who sing a Multi-syllaballistic style
...wearing red/black and green, kente cloth, and/or wooden jewelery
...bean pies and bow ties
...who be packing....with a good looking white woman.
Dude, the reason theyre so popular, is that everyone and their mother was linking it to their sites! I read about that site on at least 5 blogs, and they were popular blogs too! Man, I wonder if a Black blog could do that...hmmm.
ReplyDeleteL
Negroes....
ReplyDelete...with Library Cards
Now, why hasn't a rap act come up with this name? LOL.
Oh, also. Natural breasts.
ReplyDeleteI have to disagree with the idea that white people don't like black bosses... we love the grumpy black sergeant in any cop movie, especially when he threatens to take Eddie Murphy's (or Chris Tucker's, or Bruce Willis') badge. Or look at Louis Gossett Jr in Officer and A Gentleman, or better yet, Iron Eagle! :-)
ReplyDelete-Patrick
Car radios turned so loud they make your ears bleed even if your windows are up.
ReplyDeleteBlack boy, black boy turn that shit down/You know that America don't wanna hear the sound/Of the bass drum jungle music go back to Africa--Masta Ase, "Born to Roll"
Why can't you get yourself to a good photographer and get a professional picture taken?
ReplyDeleteGenevaGirl, you're gonna have to get used to the fact that that's what I look like!
;^D
Oh, also. Natural breasts.
ReplyDeleteZING!
Too many black people gathered all in one place (you don't see a lot of white people at the Crenshaw 15)
ReplyDeleteHee-hee...
People conversing in a foreign language within earshot.
ReplyDeleteHey...this white guy is married to a Mexican and once had a black boss (you may know him).
ReplyDeleteWhat really bugs me is Windows Vista and singers on American Idol who go by a single name.
GenevaGirl, you're gonna have to get used to the fact that that's what I look like!
ReplyDeleteLOL.
So you mean, even with proper lighting you still wouldn't look like Wesley Snipes!?
Back to the matter at hand....
1) Being told that they have privilege.
2) When black folks sing the Star Spangled Banner (des's "...who sing a Multi-syllaballistic style," reminded me of this.)
Too many black females at white malls. Chris Rock once said, "there are the white people malls and those that used to be the white people malls". But it is only the black females with their children at the malls anyway; the black males do not want to encounter the mother of their children. They might have to spend a little money and, worse than that, a little bit of time with their kids.
ReplyDelete...being largely devoid of an innate understanding of the grander scheme of things
ReplyDelete...totally missing the universal truth of the slogan "its all good"
...not really being able to plug into the feeling of the oneness of things
Tiger Woods!
ReplyDeleteMohammed Ali,
Michael Jordan
Enough Said!
vince spence...
ReplyDelete"the black males do not want to encounter the mother of their children. They might have to spend a little money and, worse than that, a little bit of time with their kids."
Interesting. I had just heard that same comment from a white female Hillary Clintonista about white men.
Star Jones
ReplyDeleteDon't be silly. *No one* likes Star Jones! ;-)
Yeah white people dont like mixed race people calling them "Typical White People". Its kinda like Carlton from the Fresh Prince calling the kettle black. No pun intended.
ReplyDeleteAdmitting that racism equals white supremacy.
ReplyDeleteAdmitting that they really enjoy the privilege white skin affords them over nonwhite people.
Having to admit that a nonwhite did something better than them because the nonwhite person was more talented, clever, or intelligent.
An accurate recitation of world history.
The thought of not running the world.
Paul Mooney
The fact they secretly desire to have sex with a nonwhite person.
Paul Mooney
ReplyDeleteI almost put this on my list. I definitely should have.
The Second Black Family that moves into the neighborhood.
ReplyDeleteDeAngelo Starnes, racism doesn't equal white supremecy. All ehtnicities and races are capable of it. Racism is hate and degradation of another race based on stereotype and assumption, and acting to keep that group down. Racism comes from Ethnocentrism, and ethnocentrism is lumping the others together and saying my group is superior.
ReplyDeleteThe fact is, non-whites and whites alike do this. The Japanese have done it to Koreans. The English did it to the Irish. Look deeper into the history of the world and see the truth. Ethnic groups of all races have kept other (different) ethnic groups down and submissive (even of types that in modern America we would argue are not seperate races).
I'm sorry if you cannot admit this. But it's going on today all over the world. Go to Africa see the different tribal issues that exist. Listen to the people talk about the ethnic features of one group vs. another. It's no different. I'm sorry and I'm tired of your rhetoric which is short sighted.
Until we cannot admit that looking for divisions amongst groups because of physical characteristics perpetuates the problem. Sorry, but go talk to a true biologist who tell you that race is an artificial division. We are the human race. And viewing racism as squarely endemic and problamtic of people of white European caucasian descent extremely over simplifies this problem and also removes you from having to look squarely into your own mirror and face the ugly parts of yourself.
White people really hate it when they are not the smartest person in the room.
ReplyDelete1) The Jena 6
ReplyDelete2) The "unfair" treatment of the Duke Lacrosse Team; and DA Michael Nifong
3) Lack of patriotism
4) Tim Wise
5) Not having a suspect when a well-respected/upstanding white citizen is murdered. (You don't want to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when THAT happens.)
6) Split ends
"The Second Black Family that moves into the neighborhood."
ReplyDeleteLOL.
This is a great thread.
And I agree with the "lack of patriotism" and "not the smartest person in the room."
Articulate Negroes. (can't stand that!)
ReplyDeleteBeing reminded that racism still exists.
Al Sharpton!
any viewpoint that completely muddles with their worldview
Black people who are well traveled. It is still shocking to some that we too can buy airplane tickets and book hotel rooms overseas.
@mwm1166, Malcolm X said if you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, the one that yelps is the one that got hit.
ReplyDeleteAlso, when did this become a debate?
Ancestors and Descendants of the People Who Are Darker than Blue.
ReplyDeleteSome of it's true; a lot of it ain't. If all or even most of this were true, we wouldn't be watching a black man about to become the next president of the United States, eh what?
ReplyDeleteOr maybe it's just a joke. Or maybe I'm out of touch with my people again.
Hey, that Jon is not me. With a name like Jon I must be white, but I am not the white boy above. And yes we hatey hate hate being told that racism is about power. Oh no, racism is talking about race. You shouldn't be allowed to do that. I should be allowed to stop you. Let me make a couple of phone calls.
ReplyDeleteHatey hate hate.
ReplyDeleteSnort.
That Rodney King was caught on tape getting beat by a racist cop.
ReplyDeleteSo the Undercover Black Man isn't really black. That's the gig? I have to admit it's a good one. I wish I had thought of it.
ReplyDeleteOh, I forgotto mention that you should consider striking "Having a black man as their boss." One of my first bosses was black and we got along really well.
Wish I could have said that about the aging redneck woman who ran the typing pool and hated my boss, hated that he was in a higher position than she. I'm not kidding on this one, either.
Everyone threw her an obligatory "so long" party and she transferred to a different department. She got incredibly blitzed at the party and attacked my boss, trying to burn him with her cigarette.
vmplecpiI'm a black boss who works for American Indians. People don't know what to think...
ReplyDeleteOkay everyone, lighten up.
ReplyDelete(I waited and nobody else said it so ....)
white people don't like it when:
ReplyDelete1.)When a golden-haired white athlete commits a crime and there is no negro to blame.
2.) When a their favorite team has a Black quarterback.
3.) Blaxploitation movies as the villain is white and the hero kills a whole bunch of racist crops.
4.) when you point out that skateboarding,NASCAR,monster truck rally, or any other motor related or Xtreme sport aren't real sports.
5.)When Black people white people think are "good negroes" point out systemic racism and social justice and then white people realise they don't know anything about Black people.
6.)that they can never know the joy of eating pig feet.
7.)Same with collard greens
8.)whites can talk about crime all they want, but what was Jeffrey Dahmer? or Edward Gein? or Adolph Hitler? nuff said.
9.) they know full damn well Bab Ruth is half-Black.
10.) They'll never know about the KFC secret recipe because Colonel Sanders entrusted it toward Martin Luther King after his death, who in turn gave it to Jesse Jackson before his assassination,and Jesse Jackson won't give the secret recipe until he receives a apology for slavey.
I meant cops, not crops
ReplyDelete9.) they know full damn well Bab Ruth is half-Black.
ReplyDeleteAnd Elvis. :P
...when a situation is CLEARLY about race. Cognitive dissonance kicks in and the matter suddenly becomes all about class.
...letting it be
ReplyDelete...peace
Some of the slicing coming back at ya makes me want to do the tighten up. Dizzam!
ReplyDeleteWas just thinking..
...coming of age in some of the rougher parts of Wash DC in the 60s/70s, and having dodged my share of bullets, fists, knives, false arrests, etc... I often wondered how UBM, my very fair skinned, chilled but always thinking, BLACK, 1st cousin survived same. From what I remember, you living right off Hst NE was much more of a survival challenge than hanging in my turf in SE/NW.
Keep on keeping on my brother and if I don't see you again in this life, I'll see you in the next one, ...and you can be late.
Give a shout-out to S.
Peace
White people don't like...
ReplyDeletefolks talking loudly in the movie theater.
Come on black people, what's up with that?!
White people certainly don't like big butts on women (@bklyn6) - proof, if proof be needed, we're not half as clever as we like to think we are.
Speaking as a white person, here's some things I've observed my fellow white people not liking:
ReplyDeleteBlack superheroes elevated to a level of prominence in a superhero team.
Black Panther marrying Storm.
Asian drivers.
Paying superflous taxes.
Paying logical, understandable taxes.
Barry Bonds.
Loud noises.
Strange penises.
Rev. Wright.
The merest HINT that prejudice exists among fellow members of the caucasian race against non-caucasians.
Strange penises.
ReplyDeleteWord?
Well, J. Philippe Rushton (president of the racist Pioneer Fund) theorizes that smaller penis size is related to increased intelligence.
...Oprah's support for Obama.
Pig's feet and paying taxes... I almost put those on my original list.
ReplyDeletejack johnson
ReplyDeletenat turner
the last poets
the ruttles
brothers crushin clapton
little richard
chitterlings, souse, chicken gizzards, chicken necks, chicken backs
ripple, cold duck, old english
jim brown
sweet sweetback's badass song
salted herring
Huge fat black women who take up 3 seats on the subway and when you sit down next to them they look at you and snort contemptuously.
ReplyDelete* black stand-up comics who aren't chris rock or dave chappelle
ReplyDelete* being told that their favorite biracial superstars aren't "black enough"
* waiting on black people at restaurants
* seeing Tyler Perry's movies beat theirs at the box office
...paying for a bag of macadamias
ReplyDelete...smoking a bag of macadamias
"Jack Johnson, Nat Turner, Last Poets, Jim Brown" Good ones.
ReplyDeleteWorse than Barry Bonds, white people hated seeing Barry Bonds passing Babe Ruth more than him taking Hank Aaron's record.
Black lawyers that pick & choose portions of every blog they respond to. If they got caught in their shit, there is no reply, so they write their same old tired shit...such as,
ReplyDelete"Talking about the present day effects of slavery and Jim Crow"
Black men with good-looking white women
"...here's one, the post-Bad Michael Jackson"
Admitting that racism equals white supremacy.
Admitting that they really enjoy the privilege white skin affords them over nonwhite people.
Having to admit that a nonwhite did something better than them because the nonwhite person was more talented, clever, or intelligent.
An accurate recitation of world history.
The thought of not running the world.
Paul Mooney
The fact they secretly desire to have sex with a nonwhite person.
Thank god you have a good thesaurus, Mr. Starnes, or every single blog post you write would be identical AND ad nauseam
I'm surprised no one else said this yet. But one thing white people really don't like is serving Black people, being in that subservient position!
ReplyDeleteAnd, God forbid, the Black person is exacting and inclined to expect excellent service..lol!
I didn't see sr's same observation, sorry. For me, this one is a major problem since I eat out frequently. I know what good service is, and I expect it. Nothing worse than some white person who ain't trying to come correct with it. I will put you in check and do it all quite nicely.
ReplyDeletethe concept of karma
ReplyDeleteand how damn near everything is cyclic
and that somehow, the little guy always seems to find a way to kick the big guys ass
that sooner or later shit costs
that brains usually do beat brawn
spice
I don't know everything that white people don't like, but I can tell you one thing DeAngelo doesn't like.
ReplyDeleteE-stalking white dudes named Vince Spence.
Are you obsessed or what?
Hey I'm white and don't find it difficult to have black friends and respect our differences. Yes we have our troubles but we deal with it. Here's the difference, most of my black friends come from other countries. The baggage discussed here is held by US blacks and US whites. It's not race so much.
ReplyDeletePoetry slams.
ReplyDelete"Poetry slams"
ReplyDeleteCut and paste on this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_KKyw8V-l0
Still one of the greatest poets EVER.
Stereotypes.
ReplyDeleteI have to disagree with the idea that white people don't like black bosses... we love the grumpy black sergeant in any cop movie, especially when he threatens to take Eddie Murphy's (or Chris Tucker's, or Bruce Willis') badge. Or look at Louis Gossett Jr in Officer and A Gentleman, or better yet, Iron Eagle! :-)
ReplyDeleteI laughed so hard at this one ... my wife and I were talking about this the other day: pick a movie or TV show; if there's a crusty, gruff superior (principal, sergeant, etc.) they will almost always be black.
Okay, I hate that Black don't crack. I got pasty Julianne Moore skin and there is no amount of newborn blood or big, floppy hats that is going to save me from looking like Vincent Price in about 5 years. So, fuck y'all. And fuck Halle Berry, 60 yrs old, having babies with teenagers, prancing around in a little bikini in Things We Lost in the Fire... bitch.
ReplyDeleteHow about the terrible truth about them as told by one of them. They don't like historical snitches.
ReplyDeleteDolomite, ...I ain't lyin!
ReplyDeleteoh yeah,
ReplyDeleteTruck Turner
...but they love Link
Someone suggested I add this one to the thread "Stuff White People Don't Like":
ReplyDeleteTim Wise, author of White Like Me. Apparently he pisses off a lot of his own. Here's a link to his March 18th commentary on the Rev. Wright flap:
http://www.counterpunch.org/wise03182008.html
^We're on the same page! :-D
ReplyDeleteDolomite, ...I ain't lyin!
ReplyDeleteActually, hip Caucasians have been digging Rudy Ray Moore for 20 years. They see it as camp.
white people don’t like being told what they don’t like
ReplyDeletewords like cracker and nigger. not because they are offensive, because using them makes white people racist, but no one else. I have never seen a black person call another black person a racist for using racial slurs.
white people don’t like being told that they are ashamed of history. I am not ashamed of slavery. I have never owned or advocated the owning of another human being. why should I feel shame for something I didn’t do.
white people don’t like being described as decent white folks, any more than black people like being called well spoken and articulate.
Blogs like this one are not highly valued by the white community either. Not because we get offended, I know this was intended to be used for a good laugh, and laugh I did. the problem that a white blog about what black people do or don’t like would not be considered even remotely funny, it would be called racist by every black person and every white person afraid of being label racist.
Most of all white people are getting tired and frustrated with double standards. Term like la raza and black power are a rallying cry to those respective communities, and are accepted by Americans. But the phrases white pride and white power are horses of different “COLOR.”
You point to slavery and Jim Crow like white people of my generation had anything to do with it. Just like you point to people like Frederick Douglas and Martin Luther King like you had something to do with the things they did and said. You take credit for things you didn’t do, while placing blame on my generation for things we had nothing to do with. Just like when my generation talks about how “WE” saved the French from Nazi Germany. I don’t remember fighting that war, I think “WE” should stop taking and giving credit where it doesn’t belong. Take credit for the things you have done, and blame me for the things I have done. But if you have done nothing to be proud of, and I have never done anything to hold you back then shut your mouth and open your ears until you or I actually do something worth talking about.
^ Now that's funny.
ReplyDeleteYou point to slavery and Jim Crow like white people of my generation had anything to do with it.
ReplyDelete"Even whites born after the passage of the various civil rights acts of the 1960s have reaped the benefits of our skin color, since, last time I checked, our parents and grandparents don't tend to bury their accumulated assets, or 'cultural capital' (itself the residue of material advantage) in a great big hole in the backyard. So please, spare me the 'I wasn't around back then' routine. I wasn't either, for the most part, but I'm here now, and so are you, and so are the black and brown descendants of those persons of color who were restricted in their ability to accumulate assets, professional credentials, educations, homes, or whatever else."
--Tim Wise, White Like Me: Reflections on Race from a Privileged Son
what do you mean "routine," do you hear that a lot. maybe that is how a lot of people my age feel. i am recently turned 24. i have had the oppretunity to vote in one election. how could i possibly have had anything to do the the policies or social circumstances of a time two decades before my birth. if i had nothing to do with, then why on earth should i feel guilty for it? im not saying that times were as they are now, far from it i am sure. i dont buy in to the liberal guilt mentality. A group of white people tried to exterminate the jews in europe before i was born. should i feel guilty for that as well? how about the imperialist war of conquest in the mexican american war. was that also my generations fault? should i have to make apologies tot he indians of the south east because andrew jackson treated them as he did?
ReplyDeletebefore you go on to call this yet another routine answer, ask yourself a question. why is it routine, because many people feel this way? i could call the race card routine as well by that logic. me calling it routine doesnt mean that race is not an issue in america. kind of like saying, " oh dont give me that self responsibility routine." but i guess that wouldnt be routine, as not very many people belive in self responsibility anymore.
is dropping out of high school the same thing as being denied and education? does the white community force black fathers to abondon their children? does the white community force black street dealers to sell crack in their own nieghborhood? these are all choices made by individuals to their own detriment. i went to public school just like every other poor person in this country. i got into college and paid for it, not with the "accumulated assests" of my parents and grandparents, i did it on student loans. i will be paying them off for quite a while yet. for being a privilaged white male, i have sure had to work my ass off to get where i am. worked through high school, and stayed in school. graduated with a degree from the lowest tuition university in my state, as out of state tuition was not an option. i guess i lost my free ride ticket. my parents must have lost theirs too. washing dishes and pumping gas from the time i was 15 to the time i was 23 is a hell of a free ride. the contruction labor that my father and brother do sure doesnt seem like an advantage afforded them because they are white. My mom works in a kitchen, i guess you have to be white to get those type of soft cushey jobs.
in todays america you are not prevented from succeeding because you are black, it is because you are poor. just like me.
you have your set of problems, just like we do. talk about your problems all you want, but dont act like all white people have some advantage that arives at the time of birth. if you want to damn an aristocracy for profiting of the exploitation of your ancestors go ahead. i will damn them with you, but dont ever group me with them. i dont feel it is warrented, any more than a hard working black person deserves being grouped into the crack dealer/child abandoner catagory. White people are individuals too. so dont talk to me like i am a memeber of some long line of benefactors who have reaped the advantages of black exploitation. i have never treated any minority as anything other than an individual. yet when i talk to my brown skinned co-workers i frequently confronted with terms like "you white people, and white people are crazy" they dont say it hatefully, it is ment to be a joke, and that is the way i take it. because i dont automatically see the worst in what someone might say about me.
if i come off as angry, i am not. i am just frustrated that any effort i make will never be good enough. i am expected to cotantly patronize a group of people by tellig them how tuff they have had it. like i have somehow had it any easier. but because i fell this way, i am the racist peckerwood. well that is bullshit.
^Anonymous, I hear ya and I can feel the pain of your struggle. Maybe your white family didn't benefit from the present day white wealth that resulted from stealing a country from the Native Americans, and having centuries of free slave labor with which to build dynasties of wealth for future white progeny. Some white families didn't reap alot of that booty. But whether you understand it or not, your whitness has exluded you and yours from things like - not being able to vote, possibly being lynched for even no reason, being hunted and shot, having your mothers/sisters raped, having your families split appart, being redlined, being denied the right to work or own property, being seperate but equal, ....
ReplyDelete...the shit may be historical but the effects of that shit exist today - the haves and the have-nots, fatherless families, being denied the power in having a known ancestral lineage, strife/ struggle, racial profiling, etc.
You may not have been the slave owner or the racist oppressor, or the ...., but you still benefit from not having to overcome the additional obstacles during your struggle that Black folk deal with daily, and to deny or not understand that, is pretty "buckwild!", to coin a phrase.
...but I can feel your pain and I do understand your position. So dude/dudette, fuck guilt, it's about understanding and recognizing.
Peace.
Fishesalot
i understand that, and have no problem with most of what you said.
ReplyDeletesome of it is little less relevant than others. i dont think you can honestly claim to have over come a lynch mob. your grandparents most certainly had that issue to deal with. my point was in my original post that yu have a different set of obstacles than your grandparents did. they had to fight jim crow, and the fear of lynch mobs, your parents no doubt had a different set of problems. not so much the fear of lynching, but maybe going to jail or being assaulted for peacably protesting, among others. black people were not the only ones beaten and incarcerated for protesting in the south. white civil rights activists were shot with fire hoses just like black civil rights activists, so they had to over come that just like the black people standing ther with them.
maybe you dont know as much about white culture as i do. just like i might not know as much about black culture as you do. my gradparents were had plenty of obstacles to over come. people forget that the KKK didnt just hate black people. they hated jews, catholics, and just about any immigrant. my ancestors were both catholic and immigrants, so i disagree that because we are white that we have never be oppressed. poor irish immigrants were conscripted into lincolns army because they did not have to 300 dollars required to pay their way out. forcing irish immigrants ot fight for abolition while preventing those who stood the most to gain from abolition for fighting for their own people. im not saying that black people did not want to fight the civil war, im saying the the rich and powerful would rather have sent poor irish to fight rather than poor blacks to fight. they didnt want poor blacks to fight because it would disprove many of the prejudices still held by most northerners during the 1860's. the south would not arm slaves for the same reason. if they turned out to be good soldiers, then their theories of black infierority would be disproved, and thus their justification for maintaining slavery would also be disproven. it is correct that my ancestors didnt have to run from lynch mobs, but they were starved out of their own country, and they were considered second class citizens. that is why they came to america. they thought they could leave the old world and start over in the new. they found out that the old world arrived in america long before they got here. witht he same prejudices, and misconceptions.
so i do understand, and i do recognize. i also recognize that racism swings both ways. that doesnt justify it, it is simply a fact of life. we will never rid ourselves of racism, it will always be ther. it will be ther because there will always be stupid mother fuckers in this world.
here is one struggle that i have had to overcome. i have had to overcome the label of privilage. i have had to overcome the label of racist, for ideas that were never my own. have you recently been told what you think by someone who doesnt know you, i have. simply because i am white and conservative, therfore i must be against immigration, what kind of bullshit is that.
its good to hear what you think at any rate . and you are 100% right. fuck guilt, it is about understanding and recognition.
^well said anonymous, again I feel your pain. All this shit is just very complex and deep rooted.
ReplyDeleteThere were and are many victims, of all colors and races. Then too, there are many that did, and still do, benefit from the historical and comtemporary oppression of others in America. So, I guess there will always be those that are falsely accused, the guilty by association so to speak. If the shoe doesn't really fit, then you should not have to wear it.
Regarding my not being lynched, there are many ways one can be lynched and in todays times, it's usually not done with a rope anymore. Trust me when I say that I have seen more than my share of lynchings in my time, but to try and make you understand what I mean in totality would be too hard to do because of context issues.
So here's to understanding and recognition, may we continue to come closer to both thru discourse.
Peace
true enough. if you aregoign totake someone dignity and self-respect, you might as well go the whole nine yards and take their life. living without dignity and self-respect is no way to live.
ReplyDeletewhen you prevent someone from becoming all that they might be you are really taking away everythig they ever had. you just took it away before they got ther.
it is so complex. it is so big that i dont think any one person could get their minds around all of it. but try we must, where is the dignity in not try?
trying
ReplyDeleteconquor spelling first, then sociology i guess.
So, I guess there will always be those that are falsely accused, the guilty by association so to speak.
ReplyDeleteExactly, fishesalot. So, while anonymous does not want to be falsely accused, who does? I don't like the idea of being followed around when I enter a store, but it's that pesky guilt by association thing, I guess. If the proprietor of the store buys into the notion that all black folks are suspect, or have this predisposition to commit crimes, then regardless of where I went to school, what neighborhood I live in, how much money I have in my purse, or a million other intangibles, I'm gonna be viewed with suspicion because I belong to THAT group. And that's unfair and unfortunate.
And, it's unfair and unfortunate that Harvard sociologist Bruce Western's research shows that a black man without a criminal record is less likely to be called back for a job interview than a white man with one.
But, I do understand your point, anonymous, and I don't think individual white folks should feel guilty. But, I do wish that collectively more of them would understand that whiteness means privilege. Robin D.G. Kelley calls it "a huge subsidy as well as a noose around the necks of working class white folk."
A good book on the subject is George Lipsitz's "The Possessive Investment in Whiteness: How White People Profit From Identity Politics. (It's where I got the Kelley quote.)
bklyn6, anonymous,
ReplyDelete...it's good rapping with ya. I guess it's just become way too big, so big that all we can hope for is just a continuation of dialog and small wins, those little morsels of understanding and realization.
One key thing for all of us to remember during our blogging/ discourse is that there will always be generalizations, guilt by association and such, so we must all remember that the shoe may not fit you so don't take things in these blogs too personally. In addition, there may be times that I say very raw or hurtful things on these blogs. But my opinions are malleable and I'm always willing to discuss, so if I offend then call me out.
So let us go forth and try not to be too judgemental, to quick to refer to preconceived notions during our dealings, let us have empathy and compassion, for in all actuality, no matter how poor or rich, smart or dumb, Black or White, we are spewed/hurled from the one source and to that we will return on each of our last days. So lets try to be good people, good humans, and treat others as we would have them do unto us. Cause when it's time to anty up, you might want to have plenty of good karma.
anony, 6, Peace to ya.
fishesalot, you said the magic word, one of my favorite words: "empathy." I only wish it was more utilized.
ReplyDelete6,
ReplyDelete...word!
Peace.
bklyn6
ReplyDeleteThe quote is very good, but I could disagree with some of it. Being white may be a subsidy, but not such a huge one. More importantly it is not one that any of my white friends or I have ever asked for. I think because of the context with which you view the problem you perceive the subsidy to be more beneficial than it actually is for most white Americans. This is not to say that the subsidy is not there, but the view that all white people have the opportunity to cash in on it is a misconception. I am not offended by being guilty by association; most people have been victim to it. My offence is directed at the idea that whites being found guilty for the company they keep are somehow guiltier than black people being suspected of shoplifting in stores. When in reality neither is accurate, they are both unacceptable verdicts. Not to say that you think that way, as someone who has been found guilty in such a manner you would probably be adamantly opposed to any form of such judgment. I don’t think this sentiment is purveyed by black Americans; it would guess it is mostly supported by successful white Americans. Many white Americans who find themselves in a circumstance of success feel that their abilities are beneath their position. This may be true, it may not be, but they feel that way nonetheless. Sometimes it is certainly true; George W. Bush didn’t get into Yale because of his staggering intellect; he got in because his father was a very successful businessman and could afford the tuition. His abilities most definitely fall short of the position he has fallen into, this cannot be denied. I would argue that any of the privileges that lower middle-class white Americans appreciate are a far cry from the benefits afforded to the old rich.
I applaud you in speaking out against aristocracy, but always keeping in mind the distinction. In this election year it is of great importance. The media has dubbed this and election about race and gender, which in part it is. But why will they talk of nothing else? As long as you and I are discussing racial issues, which deserve their time, we will not be thinking and talking about the vast separation of wealth in this country, which also deserves its time. “Economic segregation” is just as pertinent to the black American as to the white American. The “Aristocracy” stands to benefit greatly from a division among the lower classes. I think if the people could take this country back from current power structure; we could make great progress on the issue of race. As long as a division of the lower class along the lines of race stands to benefit those in power it will never be eradicated. I stand to lose as much as yourself if we allow the waters of freedom and equality to be muddied.
bklyn6 I liked your quote so much that it made me think of one of my favorite ideas which I feel compelled to include.
“All the armies of Europe, Asia and Africa combined, with all the treasure of the earth (our own excepted) in their military chest; with a Bonaparte for a commander, could not by force, take a drink from the Ohio, or make a track on the Blue Ridge, in a trial of a thousand years… If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide.”
Abraham Lincoln
Being white may be a subsidy, but not such a huge one. More importantly it is not one that any of my white friends or I have ever asked for.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if the colonizers, founding fathers, slave owners, everyone and anyone who had a hand in constructing this crazy thing called race, had the foresight to understand what effects this social construct would have on people who looked like them (it's apparent they didn't care about its effect on non-white people). Then I think, "These people were powerful and wealthy and they had two things in mind: more power and more wealth."
The “Aristocracy” stands to benefit greatly from a division among the lower classes. I think if the people could take this country back from current power structure; we could make great progress on the issue of race.
Right. So then I wonder, why don't white supremacists, and folks of their ilk understand that? Why don't they see, that they don't need to worry about Mexicans taking jobs away? Why don't they see that it's the corporations that are taking jobs away by outsourcing them, and thus robbing the working class of a decent standard of living? They can't be so blind as to not see this! But, they've got to blame somebody for their existential quagmire, blame somebody for the reason they're on the bottom and not on top. They've got white privilege on they're side, why not take advantage of it? If they're as intellectually superior as they believe, why not use they're so-called intelligence to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, and acquire the knowledge to wheel and deal like the oligarchs do? But, that would be too hard. So, what do they do instead? They commit acts of terrorism against the people they think stand in the way of the things that they think they are entitled to. It's so much easier to fault brown folks, or yellow folks, or black folks...fault anyone who does not look like them, because who knows...maybe one day they too will be at the top. One day they too will be in a position of power and authority. But, until then they will bully and terrorize non-white people under the guise of keeping the white race pure and America for real Americans, i.e. pure white people, or some such crap.
And that's the thing. It's this delusion and unearned privilege that gives them this reason to feel so entitled. Of course, not all white people are Klansmen/women waiting to happen. But, centuries/generations of unearned privilege have been bequeathed unto them. Ultimately, it's up to them to decide how they will use their inheritance. (Perhaps some will forfeit it?)
Oh, and about being followed in stores.... A security guard once stopped me and accused me of stealing a cosmetics compact, some CoverGirl pressed powder. Thing is, the pressed powder was, like, 10,000 shades removed from my skintone. Like, I'm really trying to wear "tawny beige" foundation?! LOL! What's more, the security guard wasn't even white, but Latino! But, that's just how pernicious racial stereotyping is. And we do it without giving it a second thought.
Peace, anonymous.
bklyn6:
ReplyDelete"Why don't white supremacists and folks of their ilk understand that? Why don't they see, that they don't need to worry about Mexicans taking jobs away? Why don't they see that it's the corporations that are taking jobs away by outsourcing them, and thus robbing the working class of a decent standard of living?"
I don’t have a definite answer, but I would venture a guess. Most likely it is a lack of education, or an unwillingness to see things as they are. The truth hurts, that’s why so few people feel comfortable telling it. There are two sides to every argument, but the truth has but one side.
It is easy for an educated person to manipulate statistics to be purposely misleading. Often in defense of affirmative action statisticians will group all black students together to skew the results of their studies. When you point to all black students in higher education you see an upward trend in GPAs, graduation rates, and job placement. But if you single out those black students who were admitted as an effect of affirmative action they are much more likely to drop out than a black student who meets the standards imposed on all applicants not affected by affirmative action. The upward trend in performance is not due to affirmative action, it is due to the overall advancement of education in the black community. This promotes the concept that most black students are profiteers of affirmative action. Those that do profit from it are less likely to finish school because they were unprepared. The standards white applicants are required to meet are there for a reason. If a white applicant does not meet those standards he or she will probably not succeed, that is why those standards are still adhered to with regard to white students. My question is why do proponents of affirmative action think that black students will be more likely to overcome this lack in preparation than white students? If a certain amount of preparation is need for a white student to succeed in college, doesn’t it follow that a black student will also need that preparation for him/her to be an academic success? I am not saying that affirmative action is unfair, maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, and maybe the unfairness is warranted. What I am saying is that whether affirmative action is warranted or not, the facts show that is doesn’t work. But we are told that it does work, through a muddying of the statistics. This type of fact alteration is at the root of the white-supremacist movement. Untrue facts are told to children, and when they grow up the incorrect notions are in deep and are not going to be removed. The lies are told by their parents in this circumstance, rather than by the affirmative action support structure. This refusal to acknowledge the failures of affirmative action stems from an unwillingness on the part of the governments (states or federal) to admit they were wrong, and that the program has been in many cases a waste of time and money. The goal of black educational advancement would have been better served by efforts to illustrate and encourage the benefits of self improvement. If I were capable of achieving something through my own dedication and hard work, but was told I needed a leg-up I would be insulted. The leg-up strategy insinuates that I am incapable of achieving what I believe I could achieve with the support of my family and nothing more. I would be more proud of an achievement I and my family alone had worked for, this I know to be true of most people.
6, hey,
ReplyDeleteanony, anony, anony, ...
Afirmative action shouldn't be about giving unprepared poor kids admittance to college, it should be about giving studious, prepared and potentially prepared, underpriveleged kids that want college, a chance to go to college!
Man, ...I guess affirmative action doesn't work, if the administrators are admitting students with no regard to whether they meet or come close to meeting set standards. If this is whats happening, then these kinds are being set up to fail. So you couple that with the guys that are supposedly falsifying the statistics and you get a perpetual no-win situation for these kids and the program.
I hope thats not whats happening.
There are many underpriviledged children that, despite being poor, are very intellegent and quite studious, and I find it hard to believe that most of them would not succeed in college if given the opportunity thru affirmative action.
I understand standards but if the system is setup to insure that a preponderance of kids admitted are DEFINETLY BELOW the level of standard expected for success, then again, the system is being rigged!
6, anony,
...regarding the dissusion on race, power, oppresion, ...
I think that a good majority of people have been instilled for so long, with so much hate, and an ethos of manifest-destiny-like privilege/entitlement, that it will probably be impossible to ever have an America where there is true equality, among races or classes. But it won't be because of a lack of trying on my part.
Understanding, empathy, love, and compassion is and always will be the balm. But some folk will always be allergic to that medicine.
And ...with that, ...I'm spent!
6, anony,
Peace.
fishesalot,
ReplyDeletethat is exactly my point. programs like affirmative action in the hands of ill designing people are ways of setting people up for failure. Affirmative action doesnt fix the problem. they point to the failure like it is proof that even with special considerations thisor that groupof people will never be successful. it is simply giving them ammunition. admitting a student who is obviously under prepared helps to advance the stereotype that black people, brown people, etc. are not as intellegent as affluent white people. if you put two people of differeing ethnicities but with the same amount of preparation in a situation you will be hard pressed to find any two people who will not perform equally.
Too funny! Here's a good knockoff:
ReplyDeletehttp://stuffwhiteparentslike.com
being robbed by a black guy, then being told that its because he the poor guy is held down by whitey and you should be ashamed that you had more stuff than him in the first place. and anyway, your a racist cracker anway.
ReplyDeleteracist cracker, racist nigger; whats the difference?
ReplyDeleteBlack people who think the world owes them something
ReplyDelete