Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Obama’s grandmama

Couple of days ago, when I was caught up in the trippy media delusion that Barack Obama was on a fast track to the White House, thus redeeming white folks from the sin of racism (or something), making this nation once more a beacon unto the world... oh wow, I’m nostalgic for those days already.

Weren’t them fun days? On TV, it looked like some Beatlemania type shit. Women crying and passing out. You see that chick who passed out at the Obama rally? And Obama was trying to hand her a bottled water? I was like, “Whaaat?”

Last night, before the actual results came in, Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann were trying to top each other with the most grandiose metaphor for Barack Obama’s rise.

MATTHEWS: “This has brought back politics the way Muhammad Ali brought back boxing!”

OLBERMANN: “Or Tiger Woods in golf!”

Matthews later compared Obama’s Iowa victory with Lawrence of Arabia. (Oh, what a pompous windbag he is. Entertaining to watch, though.)

Anyways, even in the midst of all that, I paused long enough to wonder about Sen. Obama’s daddy, Barack, Sr. The Kenyan.

If white folks felt fine voting for Obama because, you know, he sorta resembles Will Smith, and he’s got that Tiger Woods hybrid advantage happening, and he earned the Exceptional Negro Seal of Approval from the most exceptional Negro of all – Oprah – well then, what would happen if they started seeing more of the Kenyan side, and getting reminded that Africa runs strong in Obama’s veins?

Barack the Elder is no longer alive. But imagine one of Barack the Younger’s uncles showing up on Inauguration Day dressed like a Maasai warrior and shit... with a spear, talkin’ about “I taught him how to use a machete!”

(Just playing.)

Yesterday, I found this clip on YouTube. CNN went to Kenya and chatted with Obama’s grandmother. It aired on Monday:

21 comments:

  1. "I taught him how to use a machete!" Hilarious.

    --Jorge Reyes

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  2. Dang, man. You done just killed Obama's chances. Imagine Granma showin' up and sleeping in the Lincoln Bedroom. White folks would go crazy.

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  3. ^ She might send a sangoma first, Fisher, to rid the evil spirits. What a job that would be, huh? In the White House?

    "No no, Barack, you are not sleeping in that place until it's cleansed."

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  4. I read that is not his "real grandma' granddad was a polygamist and had 3 or 4 wives. Obama's grandma ran off with some other man and this woman was the youngest wife who ended up taking care of the abandoned children (Obama's father and his sister).

    What would happen if OBama's uncles showed up with 4 wives and like 10 kids and a spear????


    That would be off the chain.
    LOL

    One of his uncles speaks English...what if he started talking to reporters and started saying Allahu Akbar (Allah is Great) and Insha Alla...haha

    Republicans would go nuts...CNN would play that over and over again for 1 year. :-)

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  5. ^ And if this is how black bloggers joke around... just wait till the neo-Nazis get crackin'! ;^D

    Sen. Obama has truly embarked on a hard road.

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  6. Mills...

    "What a job that would be, huh? In the White House?"

    Imagine ole' Marse Washington, Marse Jefferson, Marse Jackson or even ole' Marse Wilson...

    Turnin' in their graves like at light speed.

    'Cause them Obamas is some authentic blue-black Negroes, not undercover ones like youse and I.

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  7. And if this is how black bloggers joke around... just wait till the neo-Nazis get crackin'! ;^D

    Word. I couldn't help but think I was watching some kind of propaganda film. I can just imagine the comments on youtube.

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  8. You know we joke about Obama's relatives but I was just reading something that is really interesting:

    "Unlike in South Africa, where salaries were paid according to a racial hierarchy (whites first, Indians and coloured second, Africans last), salaries in Rhodesia were equal for blacks and whites doing the same job, so that a black junior doctor received the same salary as mine. But there remained a vast gulf in our standards of living, the significance of which at first escaped me; but it was crucial in explaining the disasters that befell the newly independent countries that enjoyed what Byron called, and eagerly anticipated as, the first dance of freedom.

    The young black doctors who earned the same salary as we whites could not achieve the same standard of living for a very simple reason: they had an immense number of social obligations to fulfill. They were expected to provide for an ever expanding circle of family members (some of whom may have invested in their education) and people from their village, tribe, and province. An income that allowed a white to live like a lord because of a lack of such obligations scarcely raised a black above the level of his family. Mere equality of salary, therefore, was quite insufficient to procure for them the standard of living that they saw the whites had and that it was only human nature for them to desire—and believe themselves entitled to, on account of the superior talent that had allowed them to raise themselves above their fellows. In fact, a salary a thousand times as great would hardly have been sufficient to procure it: for their social obligations increased pari passu with their incomes.

    These obligations also explain the fact, often disdainfully remarked upon by former colonials, that when Africans moved into the beautiful and well-appointed villas of their former colonial masters, the houses swiftly degenerated into a species of superior, more spacious slum. Just as African doctors were perfectly equal to their medical tasks, technically speaking, so the degeneration of colonial villas had nothing to do with the intellectual inability of Africans to maintain them. Rather, the fortunate inheritor of such a villa was soon overwhelmed by relatives and others who had a social claim upon him. They brought even their goats with them; and one goat can undo in an afternoon what it has taken decades to establish.

    It is easy to see why a civil service, controlled and manned in its upper reaches by whites, could remain efficient and uncorrupt but could not long do so when manned by Africans who were supposed to follow the same rules and procedures."

    http://www.city-journal.org/html/13_2_oh_to_be.html

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  9. ^ Well... it's always something.

    Nice link, though, DH.

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  10. You know I was thinking...if Obama is not the nominee all blacks should vote Republican in protest. Then Dems will learn, 4 more years of Republicans after blacks vote 50% Republian would wake up a lot of people.

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  11. ^ Yeah, let's give them at least four more years to eff up the country just out of spite. That will work wonders!

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  12. Daz:

    Nothing comes without sacrifice.

    4 more years of messed up executive with a majority democratic congress to temper it or 20 more years waiting while white liberals continue to take advantage of black folks good will?

    What do you want? You like being on your knees begging white folks for government handouts?

    Since Bush had been president we have had two wars, but in reality my income has increased significantly it is not all that bad, you act like 4 more years of some slightly right of center black man is going to be way way different than a slightly left of center white man or woman.

    Please.

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  13. John Kerry just endorced OBama:

    http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/01/10/kerry-to-endorse-obama/

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  14. Since Bush had been president we have had two wars, but in reality my income has increased significantly it is not all that bad

    Bully for you. And the democratic congress tempering things hasn't worked out so well, either. Why cut off your nose to spite your face?

    BTW, not all people who respond here are black males who believe in some mythical Global White Supremacy conspiracy (sorry, UBM).

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  15. "BTW, not all people who respond here are black males who believe in some mythical Global White Supremacy conspiracy (sorry, UBM)."

    I don't believe in that and neither does UBM. I spent about 20 post refuting that with another poster on this site.

    if you aren't black, don't worry about it, I'm not talking to you.

    We have different interests and motivations.

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  16. I don't believe in that and neither does UBM. I spent about 20 post refuting that with another poster on this site.

    My apologies. I confused you with another poster (this does not count as an MBP) :-)

    if you aren't black, don't worry about it, I'm not talking to you.

    So much for Obama's attempts to talk beyond race, eh?

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  17. Hey DM,

    Crazy couple of years.

    Good news: Got a show on the air with a brother as the lead.

    Bad news: Network politics. Realizing "show creator" isn't latin for "rock star". And of course, the strike.

    Balancing it out is my girl--who you happened to cast once in one of your shows. All in all, good.

    Great blog, btw.

    --Jorge Reyes

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  18. Hey DM,

    Crazy couple of years.

    Good news: Got a show on the air with a brother as the lead.

    Bad news: Network politics. Realizing "show creator" isn't latin for "rock star". And of course, the strike.

    Balancing it out is my girl--who you happened to cast once in one of your shows. All in all, good.

    Great blog, btw.

    --Jorge Reyes

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  19. The best part was the crawl at the bottom was about cannibalism.

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  20. Jorge A. Reyes, ladies and gentlemen! (Creator of "Kevin Hill.")

    Jorge, hit me with an email if you got time next week for a cup of coffee:

    undercoverblackman (at) mac (dot) com

    I'm curious as hell about who you're dating. (If it's either Gladys Jiminez or Elika Crespo, I doff my hat to you.)

    Glad you found my blog.

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